Tuesday, April 25, 2006

Miss Amelia Runs Amok!

Miss Amelia did a dastardly act yesterday. She escaped from her Dad and was considered lost and AWOL for 2 hours filling her family and neighbors with much angst. The jury is out on whether she fell in the yard's woodpile or hid there (perhaps to smoke a joint or plot a bonfire?). Either way, I am most relieved she was found and returned home. Miss Amelia you are a very naughty bitch!

You may be wondering how Tilly and Maggie's puppies are doing! They are now just over 3 weeks old, and they are looking a bit more like dogs than blind gerbils. Check them out. Tilly's are pictured left, and Maggie's right:

I'm so happy summer is here. Every evening now Mom or Dad takes me to the dog park where many dogs of all shapes and sizes (and smells) gather to play. I have made some new friends like Shadow the Chihuhua, Spunky the Jack Russel, Lola the American bulldog, Super Dog (I don't know what he is but I like his name), Tommy the Daschund and many others who I know by smell but not really by name.

Mom has been working on my 1st birthday party invitations! They are cool. More details to follow. Time to go watch House - I dig that nasty doctor!


Thursday, April 20, 2006

Wire Fights Cougar and Wins!

I just got home from an awesome time in the Park with Mom. It was really hot out today, 82F, but there is this very caring French man who comes to the park, and he shlepped with him a bucket and 3 vats of water for us dogs! How considerate is that - especially 'cos Mom always forget to bring some for us. So he poured the water into the bucket, and all the dogs ran up to drink. But me, nah, drinking is for sissies, I stuck my whole head in and then my front paws and I started to dig with the intention of making the bucket bigger so I could swim in it. It didn't work, but I had fun trying and all the humans were laughing and marveling at my aquatic skills!

Speaking of skills, hats of to Eli the Wire in Washington state for saving her Daddy from a Cougar! That's a big ugly ferocious WILD cat! You HAVE to check out the video of Eli's remarkable bravery. Go to http://www.nwcn.com/ and scroll to the bottom news links "Bitten by a Cougar" or try clicking here.

Way to go Eli!


Wednesday, April 19, 2006

A Reminder from Axel G

Always take time to sniff the tulips!


PS Those are the tulips MOM planted in our little back yard. Not bad for someone who has never gardened in her life!

Tuesday, April 18, 2006

"Oh Lord, Please Don't Let Me Be So Misunderstood!"

So Mom has been complaining non stop how fast time is flying. How it's under 6 weeks to her wedding, blah blah.

So yesterday while she was at work, I decided to do her the ultimate in favors.

I killed her clock to stop the time.

Do you think she appreciated it?

Hell no.

Go figure!

I give up!


Monday, April 17, 2006

Guest Blogger
Pip, the Mighty Hunter - An Easter Story

(As related by his Mom Pat)

Late Saturday evening, actually Sunday morning, Pippin demanded to go out. He was absolutely insistent, adamant about going outside.
Perhaps he really has to pee, I thought, So I put his collar on and opened the door.

He sprang out like the devil was after him. Barking furiously, he ran off towards the woods. I heard a commotion, branches breaking, jaws snapping, a yelp, and a high pitched squeal. Abruptly, the air was still. I ran out to see what had happened. Quivering in excitement, Pippin stood over the inert body of a bunny.

Not just any bunny, but the Easter bunny! I scooped up the mighty hunter and ran back to the house. I tossed him in and yelled for Judy, telling her that I feared the Easter Bunny had been murdered by Pip.

I ran back out, now equipped with a flashlight.

Within 2 minutes, Judy was outside and inspected the lifeless bunny. She had a spray can in her hand. She shook the can and sprayed the rabbit.

I wanted to ask what she was doing, but she held her hand up, indicating that she wanted quiet.
Nothing happened.

Again, she shook the can and sprayed the rabbit. The nose twitched weakly. Judy aggressively sprayed the bunny, she emptied the entire can on the rabbit.

Suddenly the bunny leapt up off the grass, grabbed the empty basket and scampered off into woods.

"Judy, what did you do? What was in the can?" I asked.

Her response:

"Hare restorer."



Sunday, April 16, 2006

Butter Thief

Tonight Mom and Dad were eating a delish meal of roast chicken and potatoes, and I sat there praying for a few tasty morsels. I always sit on Mom's side as she tends to drop stuff more readily than Dad. Anyway, after a few tasty pieces, Mom and Dad finished eating and cleared off most of the table. I'll let Mom continue from here:

So there were R and I cleaning up in the kitchen when we noticed that Axel had disappeared. Very strange, he never leaves when there is food to be had. R checked the basement. No Axel. I called for him up the stairs, no little face appeared on the landing to smile down at me. So I went upstairs to investigate...

And there stood Axel, in our bedroom with a guilty but delighted smirk on his face, and a bar of butter in his mouth. Clearly, we had left it on the table and the rascal had managed to jump up and grab it and run upstairs! When Axel saw me, he rushed under the bed, but being a fat boy, I was able to grab a leg and pull him out, seizing the bar of butter at the same time!

What a bummer - that's me Axel talking! I was looking forward to eating that butter, and was such a crafty dude the way I took it! Now all I have to chew is this old shoe of Mom's!

I had a very interesting day today. I went with Mom and Dad to visit Dad's 93 year-old grandfather who lives in an old people's home quite a long drive away. I'd never been to an old aged home before and at first I was quite scared of all these shriveled up people and their metal appendages - sticks and wheelie things. They were all very friendly and wanted to pet me. I tried to be friendly, but there were so many strange sights and smells, at times it was difficult. Later kids came to visit and I was allowed outside to play with them. I ran and jumped in the mulch and had a great time, and noone seemed to mind that I tore up the garden some.

Speaking of gardens, Mom planted some tulips yesterday and today I had fun burying one of my Milkbones in the muddy soil around them! I just have to figure out how to do it without getting a muddy nose!

Finally, happy Easter to my non Jewish pals out there...Mom and Dad had me sit through The 10 Commandments last night. Know what I noticed in between naps - no dogs in Egypt! When the Hebrews were freed from bondage, there were scenes of them leaving Egypt with cows, geese, sheep etc, but I didn't see a single dog! I notice stuff like that!


Friday, April 14, 2006

Totally Pooped!

Yesterday Mom and Dad took me to my consult at See Spot Stay doggy day care. When we arrived, all these little dogs were running around behind the reception desk. The lady in charge led me in and suddenly I was completely surrounded by these little lap dog type creatures like pugs, yorkies, maltese poodles and the like. They sized me up and sniffed my butt. Then Mom and Dad left and I didn't know what to think! I didn't think I'd be staying there! But it seems the consult is 3 hours so it gives them time to see how I socialize.

Well I spent most of the time in a large area with medium sized dogs. There must have been at least 30 dogs in the place, mostly barking and making a heck of a racket. There was also a play area for big dogs and I was happy to see some familiar faces like Daisy and Elvis, and a covered outside area too. It was pretty nice, I've just never played with so many dogs or had that many butts to sniff over such a long period!

Time passed fast, and suddenly there was Mom and Dad to take me home. I was sooo happy to see them, as by then I had a bit of a headache and I was tired. I didn't realize how tired until I got home and passed out on the cool floor - not even Mom eating a snack or Dad offering to play could rouse me from the floor. I was that pooped.

In my semi-coma, I heard Mom say she hoped I'd survive 4 straight days if I was so tired after 3 hours! Dad reassured her that I'd be fine. I'm not sure...I can't imagine getting much nap time there.

Later last night, I was lying on Mom's lap eating a dingo, when she stroked my back and let out a "what the f*&$!!??"
It seemed, embedded in my wiry fur, mom found a bloody incisor tooth - no doubt missing from one of the pups at doggy day care! Mom screeched for Dad who thought it was quite droll, "a dog must of lost it roughhousing with our Ax," he said. Mom was not impressed.

Oh and by the way, I passed the consult with flying colors. Just my luck. *sigh*


Wednesday, April 12, 2006

A Challenge from Pip

Well, got an email from Grandma in South Africa today asking me if I was taking a sabbatical! Sabbatical? I don't think so. It would be more apt to call it a "banned from my computer room because of wedding stuff" situation. And friends, it's just getting worse.

Then I get an email from my friend Pip and his Mom Pat in Troy, NY telling me I am no longer the king of the blogs! Well, that almost reduced me to tears, only we canines can't cry, not outwardly anyway. Then I just got pissed. Who dares to challenge my blog supremacy - and to think we were contemplating a little vacation to Upstate NY to visit those fiends! Pip insists that a silly little dog named Cricket has usurped me because his blog has streaming video. Oh ye who succumb to the trappings of technological innovation! Does Cricket have my humor? Does he belong to the king of the canine breeds? Does he write as well as I do? I think not. You be the judge - I'm so confident of my position on the blog hierarchy, that I'm even giving you the link to Cricket's website:
Click here.

Well the weather is glorious again! And just in time for the Passover holidays! A few days ago, Mom took me to the Lincoln Memorial area of the park where many dogs gather between 5 and 7 PM and we all play off leash and have a jolly good time. So we were hanging out, when Mom noticed that one of the dog owners had a RAT on her shoulder. And no, I do not mean a Chihuahua, I mean a real RAT! Mom made a joke that I was born to hunt and kill rats, and that they better be careful that I don't sniff it out. She then added, "Gee, I hope he isn't carrying the plague." And as it turns out, the rat's name is PLAGUE! And can you believe he and his canine brother, a small mixed breed dog, are great pals, they even play together! I mentioned to Mom that I may like a rat sibling, but she said she'd sooner get an emu. Whatever that is.

Blanche the cat from next door has been making herself comfortable in my yard! Nearly every day when I go out there, she is there, soaking up the sun. And she is such an unfriendly puss! I don't have anything against cats per se, so I always approach Blanche in a friendly spirit but she hisses and claws at me and chases me around my own yard! Luckily Mom was on my side in thinking this was a huge hutzpah, to be mistreated on one's own property by a cat owned by the man responsible for having me wear the evil collar! So she shooed him away with the rake and that was the end of Blanche's visits. Though I suspect she still makes poopies in my yard!

Last night there were yummy smells coming from our kitchen as Mom was baking a "Blitz Tart" - another South African confection. I was fascinated to watch them beat up the poor eggs until they were scared STIFF, and Dad helped Mom out with the metric conversions as it was a SA recipe. Boy it turned out great - picture two round cakes topped with merangue and cemented together with whipped cream. I sure hope I get a piece! Mom and Dad tease me about being a little fatso and eating too many snacks! What can I say, I do love my snacks, I'm Ax Snax after all.

Tomorrow I am going for my behavioural consult at the Doggy Day Care I will be going to over the dreaded wedding weekend. Apparently they have to make sure I'm sociable and friendly. God humans can be so silly. Maybe I'll play a trick on them and growl and bite so I get rejected and then Mom and Dad will be forced to include me in the wedding! Heh Heh.


Wednesday, April 05, 2006

Two Beautiful New Mamas

I think the Big Guy in charge of the world has lost his marbles. On the weekend it was warm and lovely. Yesterday it poured rain all day. And today, it snowed while the sun was shining! What next, frogs falling from the sky just in time for Passover? (For my non Jewish pals, the Passover story tells of 10 plagues wrought on the Egyptians including bloody water, pestilence, frogs, boils, hail etc...no pleasant plagues!).

Passover begins next week - hopefully I won't have to eat matzah! Mom's family do Passover very seriously, they clean, they change all their dishes and only eat Kosher for Passover food. But Mom isn't fond of Passover, so all she does is buy ONE box of matzah and a jar of horseradish. And maybe a jar of gefilte fish for Dad - she won't touch the stuff. She only eats her mom's gefilte fish but used to flee the house while it was cooking - the smell, she tells me, is AWFUL.

Anyway, the best part of Passover is that it means time off work! Mom works for a Jewish organization, so 5 days NO work! Poor Dad, no such luck!

Well there is brilliant news - both Tilly (right) in the UK and Maggie (left) in the US gave birth to 4 puppies each on Sunday, within a few hours of each other. I can't believe how teensy weensy the pups are, or that I was once that size! Both mommies look radient, and their human Mom's are really enjoying the experience too -- well except maybe Tilly's Mom - she is on poop patrol because Tilly is a lady and won't eat her babies poop like she is supposed to. Boy am I glad I'm a boy! Maggie on the other hand, apparently LOVES eating poop, all poop no matter whose behind it emanates from. Yuck.

Other great news is that Rusty the gentlemanly senior wire has found a home with the saintly Pam and her smooth boys. Poor Rusty was abandoned and ended up in a shelter. As he's an old guy, he ran the risk of a horrible end, but thank goodness there are beautiful people like Pam around to rescue foxies looking for a new start.

And more congratulations to our wiry friend Pip who has a new job according to his Mom Pat: "Pippin has become the Family Planning Advocate of the bird world. It appears that robins, cardinals, doves and other birds are NOT allowed to have mating rituals on the lawn. As soon as Pippin hears or sees birds bouncing or chirping, he CHARGES at them them and chases them away. This goes on for hours on end."

Keep up the noble work Pip. At least you don't kill them, unlike our pal Mackie who it seems is not only a sock eater, but also a baby bunny murderer! He killed three! I think I'll have to inform John Walsh - there is a serial bunny and squirrel killer on the loose in Maryland! Mackie!!!!

I'm a pacifist by nature, I haven't killed anything except a few squeaker balls and Mom's daffodils (not my fault she weeded the yard and left me no greenery but the daffs to pee on!).


Sunday, April 02, 2006

Spring in Philly

This was my special day:
I lay in bed in the sunshine with my Dad:

Mom, Dad and I went to the park to enjoy the weather and meet new friends: That is Caesar the doberman and I think a dog, but it could have been a rat. He was fearless, ran to Caesar and I like he was one of the boys!

Spring was all around us - look at the blossoms everywhere in the park and on our street:

I love spring!

I got a new bone today and I spent much of the afternoon looking for a good hiding place. Mom was weeding in the garden, so I tried to bury it in her bag of weeds and then in the soil. I then dug it up and buried it in the dryer which was full of sweet-smelling clothes! Not sure Mom was too pleased about that!


Saturday, April 01, 2006

What a day!

Today I came when called.
I never pulled on my leash.
I remained spotlessly clean after my run in the park.
I ate NO condoms or anything else for that matter.
I didn't beg.
I didn't jump up on Mom or Dad while they were eating their pizza.
I never stole anyone's ball at the dogrun.
I ignored all paper napkins, toiletpaper etc - didn't feel like ripping them.
I ate my treats over my bowl. I did not bury them in the sofa.
I didn't bark despite not having my bark collar on.