Friday, September 30, 2005

Bring me a Costume!

It seems my post yesterday elicited many varied reactions. Some people wrote to tell me how funny they thought I was, while others were offended by my wit. We wires have ascerbic sense of humors, clearly not appreciated by a public apology to anyone I upset...that was never my intention. Honest. I'm a good boy (in general).

Now for the record, I am NOT a party pooper! Sure, I was poking fun at those Halloween costumes, but it was all tongue in cheek of course (a difficult feat for a dog!). As silly as I think those costumes are, I would be willing to dress up too, especially if it's for a good cause!

Which brings me to remind my fellow fox terriers of the Fox Terrier Network photo contest, the proceeds of which go to fox terrier rescue, a very worthy cause! One of the categories is best costumed dog - Fashionable Fox Terriers...and to show you all what a good sport I am, I am dragging mom to the pet store today to find a costume so that I can enter the contest! And, dear friends, I will exhibit myself in costume on this blog shortly so we can all laugh at me! I admit, this is not totally altruistic...Todd the Smooth Fox Terrier let me in on his secret: "My brothers and I also learned about all the attention that we get when we are dressed up and out in public. Believe me you can even get cookies from strangers!"

Did you say Cookies? Woohoo, enough said - where is my costume MOM????

In the meantime, I received emails of other humans keen to show off their costumed wires, who probably know all about Todd's secret!

Here is Chewy dressed up as a devil...eeek, I'm scared! How can a sweet WFT be taken seriously as a angel more likely! Heh heh!

Here's Terry, Chewy's sibling, dressed first as a witch and a dragon! I didn't know dragons had ribbons on their heads, but OK! Terry looks like she's thoroughly enjoying his get up! Look at that smile!

This is my fave pic - it's of Lucy who passed away in February this year, dressed up as a lion. What a sweetie! And what an inventive grandma she has who thought of winding a scarf around her head to transform her into a lovable lion.

And here's Winston looking decidedly Halloweenish, and rather serious.

Weeee, here's Dean-O jumping for joy in his sports jersey!
And showing off his "my parents when to Disney World and all I got were these lousy Mickey Mouse ears!" (left)

And below is Luci from PA who is not really in costume, but as I'm an imaginative sort of fella, I'm going to say she is dressed up first as famous Olympic swimmer Mark Spitz and (below that) a dog pretending to hold a pumpkin very much in the Halloween spirit. It's more interesting than dog with sponge!
If any dogs reading my blog want to show off their costumes, please email them to me! And remember, to send them to the FTN - our brothers and sisters less fortunate that us, really need our help!

And finally, I bring you this hilarious photo of Bamboozle and his Mom, both dressed up and looking equally silly but quite fabulous! Bamboozle is obviously dressed as a pumpkin, and Mom looks like Snoopy the famous beagle judging by the little black nose...or she could be a licorice candy caught in a snowstorm? a polar bear with an inkspot? Put us out of our misery Boozle, what is your mom dressed up as?

Sorry again to anyone I upset yesterday - I was so upset myself that I only ate half my breakfast this morning.


Thursday, September 29, 2005

Wires in Weird Clothing

As I've mentioned before, I am not into dressing up in human-type clothing or seasonal costumes, and thankfully Mom and Dad don't believe in it either. I hear there is a holiday called Halloween coming up soon during which kids dress up in scary costumes and go begging for candy door-to-door. Last time I was at the petstore, I noticed there were Halloween costumes for canines too! Another sign of the crass commercialism rampant in America if you ask moi!

And to make my point, I introduce exhibit one and two entitled,
"Ridiculous Dog Costumes Created by Stupid Humans:"

I really take issue with some of these abominations! The "hot dog" and "piggy" are nothing short of offensive. I appeal to humans everywhere to spare a thought for their dogs before dressing them up like this. There is just so much humiliation a canine can take! Surely there are other ways you can amuse yourselves - one that springs to mind, dress YOURSELVES up in stupid costumes or read a joke book for gosh sakes. Leave us dogs alone!

No such luck for Colby in Canada or Bamba. Here they are dressed up in their fine costumed regalia.

Colby is dressed up as a DUCK (left) and a jock. Look at Colby's face in his duck costume - I think thinking "now how can a dog be a duck? I can't quack, but I do like to swim! This is thoroughly perplexing. "

Bamba's mom wasn't really dressing him up in this photo, but my point is, the wire is wearing a bath robe! Dogs, especially our very dignified breed, don't belong in robes, just look into those eyes, he looks positively possessed!

Well, I like to think this has been a very incisive and instructive post for all you humans out there bent on humiliating your pets over Halloween. If I have saved ONE animal from this blatant ridiculousness, than my time online today has been worthwhile!

I end with an interesting story I read this morning over breakfast. It seems a disgruntled lady in Romania is divorcing her husband after 50 years of marriage, because he spends his entire pension on food for the stray dogs that hang out around their home:

Eliza Barbu, 70, has grown tired of what she perceives as her husband's wasteful habit of feeding the entire contents of the couple's larder to a pack of 20 stray dogs up to three times a day. She said: "I cannot accept the fact that we are starving every week while he uses his entire pension to feed the dogs that gather around our house."

My hunch here, being an astute canine, is that Mr Barbu prefers the company of stray dogs to his nagging, bitching wife.


Wednesday, September 28, 2005

Kosher Dog (And I don't mean a Nathan's)

Boy life is good! I got so many emails from my fans welcoming me back and also telling me how pretty my grandma is. Thanks everyone!

So I've told you before that I am a Jewish dog - thank G-d I never had to get a bris - and a couple of weeks ago I met my Mom's cousins who live in Havertown. We went for shabbat (sabbath) dinner and to celebrate Dad's 40th birthday. I thought the pictures were pretty cool!

That's Mom, Dad and Me! And a very delish looking chocolate cake!!

Check out my and Dad's matching yarmulkes (skullcap) . I think I need a smaller size though.

And you thought my parents were pretty obsessed with me? Well, remember my pal Colby in Canada who was sent away to a luxury kennel while his parents went on a cruise? His parents missed him so much, they made a pretend towel Colby on their ship to lessen THEIR separation anxiety!

The lesson dear friends is take your pets with on cruises! (Although it must be said that Colby had a brilliant time at his vacation getaway as you can see below - image captured via webcam!)

Meantime, I had to catch up on what my friends have been up to over the last 2 weeks:

Dylan and Libby went swimming - man, I wish I was there beside them!

Tilly went on show which she found to be quite a yawn! I wouldn't want to be on show either, even if I looked as good as she does! I doubt I'd get very far with my crooked tail!

And my pal in NYC, Jeeves, just keeps on grinning!

Speaking of grinning, I hope to hear good news from as the name of the October Dog of the Month should be announced shortly. Thanks to everyone who voted...if I lose to that stupid beer drinking chihuahua, I will dig a big hole and lie in it for a week! If you haven't voted, it's not to late, just click to

It's sure gotten chilly here in Philly. Chilly in Philly, haha, I'm a poet. Mom is getting less and less keen to get up at the crack of dawn to take me out for a pee and poop....she grumbles and moans and yawns. I get the point Mom, but until you invent a better option, you'll have to grin and bear it!


Monday, September 26, 2005

I'm BACK!!

Hey Everyone!
I know you've missed me! Grandma left today so now I am back on the computer again. It was great to meet grandma - poor lady is now on the plane for 18 hours...I guess I'll never be visiting South Africa - no way would I make it that long in a crate in the darn hold. No thanks. Grandma took me for a walk every morning, allowing mom to sleep in a bit which I know she really appreciated! But tomorrow it's back to boring old routine of being cooped up in the laundry room while mom and dad go to work.

Dad and I have this funny habit of passing out together on the couch in front of the TV every night. Mom caught us in "inaction":

Stage One: Dad and Ax Goof Around:

Stage Two: Dad falls asleep, I relax on my couch perch:

Stage Three: Dreamland for Dad and Ax:

Mom thinks we're pretty hilarious and usually leaves us downstairs and creeps up the stairs to bed.
My latest habit, when me and Dad get upstairs, is to quickly run under the bed so he can't catch me and put me in my crate! Poor Dad, he tries for a while to coax, demand and order me to go to my crate, but he eventually gives up and I spend the night "free" under the bed!

I'm off to bed now. It's great to be back online - and dear friends - both canine and other - I will be back to blogging regularly from hereon!!


Gifts from Grandma

I forgot to mention how beside myself I was when Grandma arrived and opened her enormous suitcase. Being the curious devil that I am, I immediately set about checking out the contents. I really should get a job with airport security - perhaps El Al would hire me, they are by far the best when it comes to onboard security!

So here is me scouting out Grandma's case in search of my much talked about gifts from South Africa:

The gifts turned out to be a big Kong toy, a green plastic hedgehog from Auntie Jo (grandmom's sister) and an edible green thing which mom promptly confiscated saying it was bad for me (she saw some hideous xrays of a thing like it in a sick dog's stomach!). Oh and a delish peanut flavored thing that looked just like a turd! Mom and Dad did a doubletake!

By popular demand, here is a photo of my dear Grandma, taken with Dad's sweet niece who we affectionately call Baby Bubba. There are other pics of me and grandma, but they are on grandma's camera, so I'll have to post them later!

Well, I hear Grandma a-coming (remember I'm in her room), I better get outta here!


Saturday, September 17, 2005

Grandma is Here, Oh Boy!

Geez, now that grandma is here, I can't get near the computer cos the computer room has been turned into her bedroom. I really like grandma but she keeps calling me a "she" and sometimes she even calls me "Georgie" cos I remind her so much of my predecessor who grew up with mom and grandma in South Africa. It's a tad irritating.

Plus, listen to this. When they went to pick her up at JFK, they put me in the laundry room at 5am in the morning. No walk. No breakfast. I didn't know what was up. And Mom said they'd be back in 3 hours, and instead they walked in after 2pm! I was ravenous and pissed off. It seems some tanker truck had the temerity to explode on the NJ turnpike and Mom, Dad and Grandma had to sit in traffic for 3 hours (while yours truly sat home alone!). I was so happy to see them all that I went nuts, bit grandma and ran around in circles for about 20 minutes.

Then today, Mom and Grandma went to check out flowers for the wedding, and it was back to the laundry room with me! Again, it took longer than Mom promised it would, AND they forgot to leave a light on for me, so they came home at 8pm and there I was, sitting in the dark house, and hungry as dinner was 2 hours overdue.

I don't think I like this grandma visiting business at all.


PS Vote for me, I want to be the Barkslope Dog of the Month! Just click here to vote:

Thursday, September 15, 2005

Smart Pooch

I know I shouldn't laugh at injured humans, but how can one not laugh at the story of a dog shooting a hunter? Confused? Read this:

A tussle between a hunter and his dog in north-east Bulgaria over prey ended with the dog shooting the man, local media reported Thursday.The man lost his temper when the Deutsch-Drahthaar hunting dog refused to release a killed bird it brought back and began beating it with the rifle. But the dog's paw caught the trigger and the hunter ended up with buckshot hitting him. The extent of his injuries was not reported, but it was said that the dog injured a paw.

Moral of the story: Catcher keeps the booty!
We terriers fully support that notion - if I caught a bird, you can be sure I'd never give it up either!

And if you, like me, wondered what the heck at Deutsch Drahthaar hunting dog looks like, here is a picture of one. Nice looking guy - and with a bird in his mouth, just like our little story:

And staying in Eastern Europe, I'd like to share a Polish proverb:
"Hunger will lead a fox [terrier] out of the forest."
I'm not sure what it means, but it seemed worth sharing?

And now some witty humor: I present (drumroll)...

Top 10 Signs You've Gone To a Bad Veterinarian
10. When you hand him your cat, he asks uncomfortably, "Monkey?"
9. Two weeks later, your dog coughs up a rubber glove.
8. Big sign in waiting room: No Pets Allowed!
7. Diploma looks a lot like menu from Chinese restaurant.
6. Always saying "I've got a tick in my pants."
5. Sends you a card every spring: "Time for your dog's annual neutering."
4. First question, "What ails your varmint?"
3. He has a lot of posters up advertising cockfights.
2. He himself wears one of those big funnel shaped dog collars.
1. He bites!

Tomorrow Grandma arrives, so I may have less time online as the computer room is now Grandma's bedroom!


Tuesday, September 13, 2005

Enemies Lurking in the Home

I received an email from Libby Longtail's mom yesterday telling me that Libby has taken to protecting her family from their new washing machine. Miss Longtail observed her mom doing the laundry and immediately noticed something was amiss.

"This new washing machine is a front-load model, with the little round window. Libby saw a wire fox terrier in the window! Every time she peeked, so did the wire fox in the washer. Every time she barked, it did, too! And it looked so much like Libby, it might sneak out of there one day and fool the family!"

Check her out on alert by the new appliance:

What a funny gal! Our machine is a top loader, so I am far more interested in our dryer. Everytime Mom transfers the wet laundry from the washer to the dryer, I see how many items of clothing I can snatch away and play with. This tends to infuriate my mom, who then sometimes goes chasing me around the house and ends up having to rewash the items. We go through the same fun game when the clothes are dry and she opens the door to fold and store them away. I have a particular penchant for socks and Mom's undies! Especially dirty ones!

Hey, Grandma arrives from South Africa early news yet on whether I can ride along to JFK...Mom doesn't think our kind are welcomed at airports. There has been lots of activity in the house in preparation for our VIP guest - I even have a new bed to jump on! Can't wait to give licks and kisses to Grandma, and get my pressies! Woohoo!


Monday, September 12, 2005

I Graduated!

I am pretty proud of myself - yesterday I graduated from Puppy Class.

That tassle sure tickled my nose! My certificate now hangs on our refrigerator as there isn't space to hang it in my crate!

There were only 2 graduates, me and this cute Bijon - I don't know why Base the basset/beagle mix didn't show up! Anyway, now I know to sit, go down, and stay with a treat in front of my nose (well, I don't always stay...those treats need to be eaten!) Here are pictures of me and Bijon (I forgot her name...)

I read a GREAT story today on CNN about a super couple who paid for 80 Katrina pets to be airlifted to California!
The Continental Airlines flight from Baton Rouge, Louisiana, was chartered for about $50,000 by Texas oil tycoon Boone Pickens and his wife, Madeleine, in a movement dubbed "Operation Pet Lift." Some dogs were placed in cages in the cargo section while others rode in the passenger cabin, where they barked and wagged their tails.

Big licks to Boone and Madeleine Pickens! xox


Saturday, September 10, 2005

Ribs and Popcorn

Yesterday I received the most awesome gift in the mail from Brenda, Alle and Jack in Orlando, Florida - a whole wardrobe collection of jumperz - which are special doggie bandanas that attach to one's collar. I have a special one for Chanukah, the seasons, and more. I love them. Mom put one on my straight away and I posed for a picture. I intend modeling them all here on my blog.
This is my favorite one - it's blue with pictures of wires doing funny things:

And speaking of modeling, check out my funny pal Chewy (who just celebrated his birthday) in his fancy doggie Tshirt. Doesn't he look silly?

This morning I wore my jumperz to the park and I was widely admired. I made a new friend named Kush which mom told me means "black" in the ancient language of Aramaic, but Kush's owner said it means "happy" in Hindu. Well, my new friend was black and happy, so I guess it's a good name for him. Maybe it also means "gets other dogs in trouble" in some other language cos Kush lead me into a burr bush and I got those horrid things embedded in my face and paws. Mom had to yank them out.

I got a bit pissed off today as Mom left me alone in the laundry room to go grocery shopping. I know we need food, but why can't I go with? So when she came home, she was huffing and puffing as Dad wasn't around to help her shlep the groceries inside and there was no parking outside so she really had to double park around the block and shlep. Once all the bags were inside, she let me out, but then ran out again to move her car. I was bored and hungry so I went sniffing around in the bags - and found a nice package of beef ribs which I managed to break open. You should have seen Mom's face when she finally walked in the door to see me enjoying a big beef rib! Her glare soon turned to a smile and she said, "Oh Axel, you are a naughty boy," but she still let me chew on it for a little while before tricking me into giving it up!

Remember that sad story I told you a while ago about Jack the dog who's owner had been run down and killed by thieves when he believed Jack was in the car? Well I see today that they have caught thief and charged him with murder. Good. But poor Jack, I'm sure that is little comfort to him.

Well Mom and I are going to sit and watch the US Open Tennis final - we have a big bowl of popcorn and Mom generously gives me a few. What a strange human food that is - but you know me, I'll eat anythihg!


Friday, September 09, 2005

Frisky Saves the Day

Amid all the human suffering and photos of abandoned pets, there is a heartwarming tale of Frisky the mutt.

The mutt, who's nearly blind now, is a schnauzer-poodle mix and, at 19, is the equivalent of 133 in human years. The unimposing four-legged friend gave Mitchell reason to live when Katrina was slamming the Gulf Coast.

"My little friend and I had a party that night," Mitchell says. "We had a big party. We spent the night treading water and swimming. … This thing (Katrina) was the monster of them all. About four hours after I was treading water and all, I was about ready to let go, and I felt this real peaceful feeling, like, 'This is it.' Ya know? And I was about to let go and, all of a sudden, Frisky was on that mattress and come running to the corner of the mattress, and he kissed me and kissed me and kissed me. And it kinda snapped me out of it, and I was able to come back."

After what seemed like a lifetime, the mutt and his owner managed to escape the house.
"Frisky is "why I'm here," Mitchell says. "I couldn't ever express the closeness between he and I. It's amazing he's stuck around (all these years). I think he's waiting to cross the River Jordan with me. That's what I think he's waiting to do."

Once again this illustrates the love we canines feel for our faithful owners. We are not mere animals, we are beings with love and loyalty in our hearts.

Now, continuing on from yesterday's post - I have good news for all those desperate bitches out there - I have some new handsome wires to introduce you to!

Meet Jeeves - he is an urban New York City dude. He sure has a great smile:

From urban to country boy - here is Jasper from Oklahoma, who is 1 year and almost 8 months old. What a doofus look he has in this picture, heh heh:

Then there is Mackie - who I seem to recall is related to that gorgeous gal Maggie - I think they are siblings, but I could be confused:

Then there is Kramer. Poor Kramer, he had his balls chopped off just yesterday - I can't fathom what that must feel like. But I have overheard mom and dad say they don't plan on putting me through that for quite some time. My hope is - NEVER!

And, saving the funniest fellow for last, meet Dylan who enjoyed getting covered in poop after a walk down by the river. No bitch will come near you looking like that dog!

To my human and canine friends, have a great weekend! I'm outta here!


Thursday, September 08, 2005

A Tail Wagging Ending

The AKC just completed an interesting survey of dog and non-dog owners.
What I find interesting is that one of the "survey findings revealed that owners of one dog were more likely to describe themselves as "happy" as opposed to non-dog owners (43 percent vs. 38 percent), yet those "sans pooch" say they are more organized (19 percent vs. 14 percent of dog owners). Dog owners were more likely to call themselves "laid back" than those without pups (26 percent vs. 17 percent)."

Of course dog owners are happy, disorganized people! We make them laugh and we are very au fait at creating disorder in their households! Mom and Dad are prime examples - they are constantly convulsing in giggles at my antics, and our house is an almightly mess. Though in my own defense, I suspect they weren't that organized or neat to begin with!

Since posting my dashing new haircut photos, I have received emails from lovesick bitches pining after me.

"Dear Axel, Will you be my new boyfriend?" writes Libby in Minnesota, "I think we'd make a cute couple. I am sending you my picture showing me running in the yard, I love to run."

I wrote back:
Take a number bitch. But you are rather cute - I'm just not into long distance relationships.

A lot closer than Minnesota is Camden, NJ - and that's where Venus (3) and Max (10) live with their owner Bill Z. Venus is kind of cute - if you like your women hairy.

But hey bitches, there is good news out there. I am not the only stud muffin out there. All wire males are adonises! For example, check out Herman who is owned by Carol and recently had to have his one ear glued down - what the heck is up with that?! And next to Herman (right) is Gabriel (8) with all his manhood visible to the world. He lives with his sister, Angel (9) pictured underneath, all curled up in a ball. They live in South Carolina, and have a pool! (I'm having an envy attack!)

I also want to introduce two new friends, Terri and Chewy, who are both 5 years old and live in Austin, Texas. Their mom Jill tells me that their favorite passion is to hunt for possums and birds. Monday night Terri killed a small possum in their backyard! Wow. Last summer they killed 5 birds! Terri also likes to "kill" her stuffed toys that no longer have squeakers or stuffing in them.

Holy crap, the two of them sound natural born killers. I bet they are members of the NRA. I haven't killed anything yet, my toys still all have their squeakers, and I haven't even chased a bird. What's wrong with me Mom?
To look at Chewy and Terri in their bath robes, you'd never think that beneath their demure appearances lurk dangerous killers! (Where can I get one of those robes?)

And lastly, my two Panamanian friends Olaf and Lulu just sent me a new photo of the two of them in their mom's garden, where they are only allowed to roam under close supervision - clearly evident in the fact that the flowers are still intact!

I was rather dismayed by the headline in today's Daily News - it read "38 EVACUEES, 1 DOG ARRIVE IN PHILLY" One dog? A doberman no less. I'm a tad disappointed, I was looking forward to meeting some good Southern hounds and chaperone them to Philly's greatest dogparks. Oh well...

And lastly - I am thrilled to be able to provide you with a happy follow up to the sad Katrina story I related on Sept. 4 about Valerie Bennet - who you will recall offered her rescuer her wedding rings if only she could take her 4 dogs with her. But her request was refused. Well, today there was news of at least one happy reunion:

Hurricane Katrina refugee Valerie Bennett was visibly delighted to be see her dog, Lady, after they were reunited at Emory Hospital in Atlanta. She and her husband, Lorne, had to leave behind four of their pets when Lorne, a liver transplant patient, had to be evacuated.
I love happy endings!


Wednesday, September 07, 2005

From Scruffy Rascal to Handsome Fellow

The moment you've all been waiting for....(drum roll) new look! Yesterday I got my first hand stripping by Alex who works at Petsmart. He did a fine job, especially putting up with my biting and mounting. When Mom and Dad came to pick me up, you should have seen the looks on their faces! I actually saw their bosoms (well Mom's anyway) swell with pride and joy! I don't mean to be conceited, but I am a fine looking dog now, especially with my bandana - so I wanted to share my new portfolio with you, my loyal readers and fans.

Paper towel rolls are one of my fave toys!

These Dingo treats are my favorite chew thingies

My most dignified pose. It was hard work let me tell you.

On my fave perch where I can bark out the window or have a nap

Snuggling against Mom...I'm embarrassed to admit, I look a bit like a cat here! Urgh! (Or Andy Rooney with those bushy eyebrows!)

Anyway, more later...I need to go check myself out in the mirror.
Oh, and before I forget, big shout out to Grandma in South Africa - HAPPY BIRTHDAY FOR YESTERDAY GRANDMA! SEE YOU SOON!