Thursday, August 31, 2006

A Tower of Dog Poop

Thanks to my alert friend BigFoot Fletch for bringing this stinky story to my attention.
It seems that those crazy Hollywood types, Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes have risen to new hights of celebrity ridiculousness. They had a pup a while ago named Suri (well they purported to have one - noone's seen the baby girl) and it seems they came to the brilliant idea of introducing her to the world via "a bronze cast depicting her first solid stool." I looked up stool in the dictionary - and that my friends means - they have turned her POOP into a sculpture.

"The scatological sculpture -- more doodoo than Dada -- is purportedly cast from 19-week old Suri's first bowel movement and will be shown at the Capla Kesting gallery in Brooklyn, New York, before being auctioned off on Ebay for the March of Dimes."

Well, even I, Axel G Chocholoza, master blogger and dog of many words, cannot think of anything appropriate to say about this story.

Give me a minute.

Ok. I"m now ready to comment. I find Suri's poop extremely boring-looking. My poops are far more interesting and colorful, just yesterday I pooped out a log replete with red and blue balloons I had snacked on in the park!

If poop can be art, then I call on all us dogs to unite, gather and poop together in one spot. Can you imagine, we could build a 100 storey sculpture of poop, and then invite some fancy artist to cast the whole thing in bronze. It could be placed alongside the Statue of Liberty which welcomes all human visitors to the United States. Our Dog Poop Sculpure could be the welcoming symbol to dogs the world over. I think it's an awesome idea! The Statue of Liberty and the Tower of Dog Poop - welcoming symbols to all! Just remember, you heard it first here!

In other news...I got an email from Mango and Party to tell me they had nominated my blog as Cool Blog of the Day on, and they were successful! My blog will be featured as Cool Blog of the Day on Saturday, September 2! Of course I am doing a jig as this is the first award I've received, and frankly, it's about frigging time! Thanks to my Singaporean pals for their efforts! You guys rock!

Wishing all my American friends a great long Labor Day weekend. Unfortunately the weather sucks thanks to that selfish cretin Ernesto!


Monday, August 28, 2006

Blissful Days

What a fun day I had today! This morning when Dad and I were returning from our walk, we ran into Gracie and Kila and their tired Mom Diane. I didn't feel like going home to be alone all day, so Diane said I could come and play! I was so happy I did a jig. I love Gracie and I love Gracie's house. I try get in there whenever I can! So we played and wrestled and napped a bit and Diane only dragged me home at lunchtime.

When Mom came home today I could tell she'd been shopping at the supermarket. I could tell the bags she was carrying were full of snacks for me! Mom sure does love me. Five minutes after Dad helped unload the car, chicken thighs and beef marrow bones were boiling on the stove, and I just knew it was all for ME!! And I was right! I had yummy chicken for dinner (though mixed with canned carrots that I didn't love) followed by a marrow bone. YUMMY!!

After dinner we hung out with Gracie and Kila again, AND with Elvis, Gia, Sophie and their humans on Gracie's front porch. It's always a fun time. Gracie and I wrestled and then Sophie's Dad Vince brought us all chewies!

Why can't every day be like this one? Ahhh!


Sunday, August 27, 2006

Of Poses, Peppers and Purses

I was pretty mad at Mom for posting that ridiculous picture of my face close up. I look like a silly dog. So this morning, I dragged Mom out to our tiny backyard, and made her take some new, and more flattering photos of me. So I present to you, Axel G Chocholoza, handsome male wire fox terrier, in three poses:

Even if I say so myself, I think I look quite divine in that photo. I think it would be perfect for an oil painting or a quilt. Mom has a pal who makes beautiful quilt paintings of animals...I'd like to be immortalized like that! Ok,Ok, here are the other two shots:

I bet you think our backyard looks like a jungle! But if you look a little closer, you will see wonderful food growing there. Unfortunately, it is not the type of food I care for, I wish Milkbones or Dingos grew on trees! But we have green peppers (which Mom planted and boy is she proud of them, she checks them out every day and says she'd like to mail one to her Dad in South Africa 'cos he LOVES green peppers. Mom bought them at a Church fundraiser down the road and didn't think for a minute peppers would ever grow!) and grapes (the vine actually belongs to my nemisis Rex, but lucky for us they grow over our side of the wall too).

Today I went with Mom and Dad to the old folks home to visit Dad's grandpa. Those wheelchairs freak me out a bit, so I had a bit of a barkfest at first. The old people all love me. One old geezer asked Mom what kind of dog I am. So Mom said, loudly, "He's a wire fox terrier!" So the guy said, "Oh, I lived in Hawaii once, but I never saw one of these Hawaii fox terriers there!" I thought I saw Mom bite her tongue in an effort not to laugh... The highlight of my visit was eating a whole scoop of vanilla ice-cream! Yum!

Finally, I saw this story online, and frankly it pissed me off!
"Imported from the United States, these colourful and stylish "doggie bags" enable devoted dog owners to carry their puppies and little pooches wherever they go. " says the article.

I mean just look at that poor animal - does he look comfortable hanging from his Mom's waist like a cellphone? He looks like he's yelling, "Get me outta this darn thing!"
Imagine bopping up and down while suspended like that? I really hope that pup vomits down his Mom's shorts into her ass crack! That woman should be cited for cruelty to animals!

Thankfully, these are aimed at dogs who are under 12 lbs so don't expect to see any Wires or Smooths in this $100 contraption. Not that fox terrier owners would ever contemplate doing that to their furkids. Fox terrier owners are the smartest people about, trust me. Me thinks we ought to start a grassroots movement to stop companies from turning their pets into fashion statements. A "PuppyPurse" - Geez, what is this world coming to?


Tuesday, August 22, 2006



PS: Photo Credit: Elvis's Mom Priscilla

Monday, August 21, 2006

Pee on a Plane?
(With Apologies to Snakes on a Plane)

I was thinking today what a relief it is to not have to have CNN on all day blaring about war and death in the Middle East. I think the humans finally stopped fighting, so CNN moved onto the next story.

Last night however Mom was flipping channels and landed on CNN just in time to see this creepy looking man drinking champagne and eating fried shrimp while on a fancy plane from Thailand to America. I thought Mom was having a seizure because suddenly she started gesturing wildly at the TV and making strange gutteral noises...she muttered something about "Peedophiles" and "throw them to the sharks"...Frankly I didn't know what was going on. I think the man on the plane was the Peedophile and Mom was upset at his royal treatment.

I can see Mom's point. I enjoy peeing too, but when I do it inside I get chastised -I don't get offered treats! And here is this man Karr, a self confessed peedophile, who probably peed all over the plane, and he gets rewarded for it! What am I missing here? I don't think I got the whole story.

Sometimes it is so hard to be a dog.


Friday, August 18, 2006

Just Call Me Britney!

Oops I did it again. I peed. This time on the carpet upstairs before Mom and Dad got up this morning. Dad stepped in it on his way to do his morning ablutions. I won't tell you what he wasn't becoming.

I blame the shot the vet gave me - it has cortisone in it and I just can't seem to hold my pee pee as long as before. But I'm sure it will wear off...

Anyway, today Mom and I went back to the Art Museum fountain to hang out and swim. I was the only dog in the fountain amongst many little kids who all insisted on petting me. I didn't mind, I'm a nice guy.

Here I am in the water:

And here I am after my swim. Boy do my legs look SKINNY!

Later we hung out with the neighbors - human (Di, Bill, George, Nico, Vince and even my nemesis Rex!) and canine (Grace, Kila, Faith, Sophie...) but then Mom shlepped me inside because she had to make dinner (yum, London broil!) so I had watch my friends from my window perch. Mom says she likes this picture but it shows how much my window needs a cleaning. Get to it Mother!

I think we're going to watch the last season of Curb Your Enthusiasm tonight - I like doing a jig to the opening music tune..."doo doo doo, dee-dle-dee dee, deedle de dee, deedle-dee....." and the bald man makes me laugh.

Tomorrow I'm getting stripped! Oh boy.


Wednesday, August 16, 2006

Speaking of confessions...

I peed on the couch today!

Heh heh heh

Now I only have half a couch to bounce up and down on as Mom removed the sodden cushion and soaked it in the Miracle stuff. They are not very happy with me. For half the evening they've been trying to work out when and why I did the deed.

I'm keeping my snout shut. I don't want to ruin their fun.
I think I'll go raid Dad's cooler now (he takes it to work every day filled with iced bottles of water), steal a bottle of water, take a swig of the icy coolness and eat the bottle...


PS George Won the Contest!

Monday, August 14, 2006

Confessions of a Wiry Character

I found messages from my friends Mackie and Fever telling me I've been tagged! I thought maybe it was some new form of long distance online microchipping...but it seems it's some new fun game!

So when someone tags you, you have make embarrassing confessions and tell everyone five weird things you've done/five weird habits of yours. Only five?

So here are my confessions:

1. My bones always taste more delicious if I can eat them sitting on Mom's lap, preferably while she is dressed in clean that's how I like to eat them. If she is lying in bed, I also like to drop the bone on her head to get her attention, or if I'm not ready to eat said bone, I will bury it in her back while she sleeps or under Dad's pillow (while he is trying to sleep on it).

2. When I eat my dinner, I walk in circles around my bowl. I take one mouthful, then walk in a circle chewing it, and then go back to my bowl. I think it I may have the beginnings of obsessive compulsive disorder

3. I love to bark. I bark therefore I am. I bark at sounds, I bark at silence. I love the sound of my own voice. As a result, my parents put on my bark collar way too often, sometimes most of the day and night. But that doesn't always stop me. I bark once, get shocked and then run to Mom for cuddles and comfort, and then invariably, she takes off the collar cos she feels so bad for me!

4. When Mom gives me Milkbones in the park, I don't like to eat in front of the other dogs, so I usually bury it in the grass. Mom says it's a very silly thing to do, to bury a bone in a dog park surrounded by hungry dogs with good sniffers! 99% of the time when I go to get my treat it is long gone! I don't understand it...

5. When I go to Gracie to play or she comes to me, I like standing on the couch and dive bombing her! Boy it's fun and it makes up for our size difference!

Boy, that was quite fun, eventhough you now know my secrets!


PS Happy to report that Tilly is starting to recover and will be going home on Thursday!

PPS George is so close to victory he can smell it. The contest closes tomorrow, so please be sure to VOTE two more times so that we can secure a VICTORY!

Saturday, August 12, 2006

Of Parties and Playdates

Today is my Daddy's birthday! He is almost 6 in dog years but he looks like a spring chicken (pre-plucking). Don't tell anyone, but some mornings when the three of us are sleeping in bed, Mom reaches over to pat ME and sometimes, none the wiser, she ends up patting Dad's leg or arm! Dad is very hairy you see, and Mom can't tell us a part! Heh heh. I think Dad likes being stroked, so he never tells her either!

Tonight Mom and Dad tried out a swanky new Japanese restaurant (yeah, left me at home with the bark collar on) called Goji. They told me it was delish, and ever the thoughtful parents, brought home a doggy bag of grilled salmon leftovers for ME. I never ate salmon before, and I scoffed it all down. I know Singapore isn't Japan, but it made me wonder if my wiry Asian pals Mango, Party and Fever get to eat this sort of fare often?

Last night was Dad's family birthday party and he insisted on bringing me along (Dad takes me everywhere he can, and I love him for that!). I had a great time chasing the wild rabbits and squirrels, eating table scraps and birthday cake, and chasing the little kids (who I might add, all adore me).

Oh, I forgot to tell you what I gave Dad for his birthday present - a framed collage of photos of me and him from when I was a wee chap to now. He loved it! I'll have to take a photo of it and post it here next time. This morning Dad and I along with Elvis and Gia the pitbulls and their Mom, went to this cute area of the park I'd never been too - and it had a pond and creek! So Elvis and I splashed right in and swam and swam! Later we took Mom there too and she loved watching me swim around!

Oh, and yesterday, Mom went and got Gracie and brought her over to my house to play! I nearly had a kanipshe (Jewish heartattack) as I was so excited. You know Gracie is my best pal in the world! So here are the photos of us having a wild old time wrestling and looking for treats in the sofa. Mom promised Gracie could come over again as we played so well and didn't cause any mayhem!

On Monday it's back to the vet again for some routine shots (yuck) and to check my itchies. I think I may need more pills cos my paws are still itching something fierce.

Please join me all in saying a special prayer for my special wiry lass in England, Tilly, who has suddenly become quite ill and is recovering at a hospital in Bristol. Tilly if you recall is quite the rat hunter. Get better soon sweetie!

Well, I think I'm going to go put my head down and chill out. I found the perfect pillow to rest my weary head on - my fave stuffed animal - Leo the Lion. G'nite everyone.


Thursday, August 03, 2006

Wonderful Wiry Families

I won't lie. I like being an only child. I wouldn't like to share my toys and bones with a sibling 24/7. But I would like to have a playmate for the long hours that I am alone during the day when Mom and Dad are at work. Someone fun like Gracie! So this got me thinking, are there many multiple wire families out there? We all start off as part of a wiry family, but invariably when we are about 12 weeks old we join our new forever families. But some wires are really lucky, they get to live with other Wires their whole lives and sometimes even other dogs too!

Meet proud parents Daphne and Ares - they just gave birth to a litter of 5 pups - 4 bitches and a dog. They live in Fredericksburg, Virginia with their Mom Kellie, and another wiry bitch Phoebe (Daphne's sister) and an Airdale Zeuss! How lucky can you get? When I saw these beautiful photos of the little wire family, I felt a sudden longing for my own wiry parents Daddy Walter and Mommy Pompi, and siblings...

Scarlet the Wire also recently had a litter of little Wires in Winnipeg, Canada. Just look at these paragons of Wiry Magnificence!

Then far away in Singapore, live another family - Party and Mango (parents) and daughter Fever. They don't actually live together full time, but they see each other very often! All three wires are a hoot and love to dress up and model different outlandish costumes. Pictured below are (left) Fever, Party and Mango.

Then in Washington State live Mom and daughter Alexandra and Miss Amelia. Like many mothers and daughters, they don't get on too well and have to be separated 24/7 - a lot of work for their poor human Dad. In Southern Arizona live Ciara and Simon (below) and somewhere out there, I"m not sure where - live a heap of Wires who like sleeping on the couch!

And then there is the BIG Terrier Family known as the Terrierfirma Trio. That's Libby Longtail, Bamboozle, and Airedale Linus. They also had a Scottie sister, Matilda, but she crossed the Bridge recently. Their Mom Jill writes, "They are a fun trio, and always make us humans smile - except when Bamboozle poops on the floor! (To which he retorts: "Hey! I'm 15 1/2, for pete's sake! My control ain't what it used to be!")

If there are any other multi-wire families, drop me a line and send me a photo! You can never have too many Wires in my unbiased opinion....We bring joy. We bring laughter. We bring mischief. In short, we are quite SPECIAL.


PS Thanks to everyone for voting for my pal George, he has swept ahead of Biscuit in the contest now thanks to all your votes. But hey, don't stop now - you gotta vote every day for another week!!!

Wednesday, August 02, 2006

Why Can't Humans Get Along?

I am feeling sad today. I am tired of the way humans treat each other. We dogs may have the occasional fight - but we don't wage wars or seek to destroy eachother. My heart goes out to Duke (pictured below) tonite. Duke lives on a kibbutz in Northern Israel. Today his human Dad David heard the bomb siren wail and instead of running to the bomb shelter, he hopped on his bike to go and fetch Duke so that he too could be safe with his master in the shelter. On the way, a rocket fell out of the sky on to David and he was killed. Now Duke is an orphan again - David had found and rescued him on the kibbutz. Duke stood in silence next to his dad's body until friends dragged him away. I know you will all join me in sending our condolences to Duke and David's human family.

I also want to send best wishes to my pal Terence who had to have surgery yesterday due to a sudden diagnosis of glaucoma. Poor little guy had to have his one eye removed, so now he'll be a dashing pirate dog! Get well soon buddy, we're all pulling for you!

Do me a favor, click here and cast your vote for my pal George who is entered into a photo contest. George is a little behind - so don't delay! I'm not sure if we can vote multiple times, but I'm sure as heck going to try!!

I have to tell you, yesterday evening I had a rollicking good time with my bestest chick Gracie. Despite the 100F heat, our Moms took us to the fountain by the Art Museum. There we met up with many of our other friends, also out to cool off in the water. I swam and swam, Gracie tried to catch me and often did, dragging me out by my collar and dunking me under the water. We played fetch, chase and wet the Moms! It was good clean fun until Gracie pissed in the water! Heh Heh - I like my gals uncouth and uninhibited, but I was a tad grossed out!

Here is a picture of the fountain I found online - but that odd looking lady wasn't in the fountain when I was there yesterday! She would have freaked us out for sure! You see the perimeter around the fountain, I love running around up there and barking at everyone!

It's time to go chow, so until later,