Thursday, November 23, 2006

Home Again

Did you miss me? I certainly missed writing my blog! My imposter parents, E & L, wouldn't let me near their keyboard!

Anyway, I survived my weekend in Levittown. Or, it may be more appropriate to say, my imposter parents survived the week with ME. I have to admit, I was quite the bad boy! I got especially difficult when E & L tried to leave the house without me. I was so successful, E missed her train to work on 3 occasions! Not bad huh, that's 3 out of 5 days. SCORE! The poor folks, I felt sorry for them, when they started going to extraordinary lengths to get out their OWN house! They first erected a barricade using boxes from their garage - but I figured that out fast, and thoroughly enjoyed the challenge. Then they took a folding table and tried to block their door with that. I had to laugh to see them clambering over it to get out the house.

One night I was especially bad. I stole a pen out of imposter Mom E's bureau, and got her to chase me around and around the dining room table. Of course I had no intention of biting the pen and spraying ink all over their house...but of course E didn't know that, and fell for my wise ploy to get her to play. It was around midnight, so she got rather pissed off to say the least!

But other than that, I was quite a well behaved dude. I gave lots of cuddles, ate my snacks on E & L's laps and tried very hard to befriend their three cats. I even brought my toys to them one at a time to entice them to play. But no luck there. It's true I guess what they say about cats and dogs...

Here are pics of me and my imposter parents - E pictured left, and L pictured right:

After what seemed like ten years, suddenly the doorbell rang, and there was Dad, standing at the door, looking all tanned and excited. I was happy to see him I admit, I think I'd given up on ever going home...but I decided to let him know I didn't appreciate being abandoned for a week, so I played the aloof card. Once in the car, I had an anxiety attack, started shaking and vomiting, as it struck me that maybe Dad was going to drop me off somewhere else and abandon me again. I couldn't bear the thought of getting used to another strange couple and strange home.

But once we arrived home and I flew around the house checking out all my haunts, I relaxed and boy, I felt so happy to be home. Then Mom came home, and I did quite a jig but then thought I'd induce a bit of guilt, so I drew the aloof card again. I like to keep them guessing.

Anyway, Mom and Dad showed me their photos from their honeymoon in Jamaica - and boy did I get jealous. Bet you will too:

Mom and Dad overlooking a cliff in Negril

Mom and Dad horse-riding on the beach. Mom's horse is laughing at her!

Dad on a paddleboat, Mom was seated next to him

Mom lazing on a chaise-longue IN the sea at sunset

There are dogs in Negril, albeit many stray ones. This dog lives at a craft store. You'll never guess what his name is!!?? REX! It gave Mom and Dad a shudder - in case you've forgotten, that's our "nameless" neighbor!

A pack of hungry Jamaican dogs. Mom said she wished she'd brought a box of Milkbones with her to Jamaica to feed all the thin dogs.

If you want to see all the photos, this is a link to the photogallery on

By the way, today Mom got an email from imposter parent L. It was short and sweet. It read, "E is missing your dog." I had to chuckle to myself, after all it didn't say "WE are missing your dog!"

Finally -- Happy Thanksgiving Everyone! I spent the day with Mom and Dad at Dad's parents. I wasn't allowed any turkey (Mom claims it is dangerous for me...what a load of ...), but I did get a plate of ham! I never did profess to being a Kosher dog! Mom doesn't know what she is missing!!!


Sunday, November 12, 2006

Levittown? I thought I was going to JAMAICA!

Mom doesn't stop yapping to me about going away somewhere on Monday night. Her and Dad have been talking about Jamaica this and Jamaica that, so naturally I assumed that was where we were all going. Now Mom tells me I am going to Levittown instead. WHAT?

I am not happy. Who the heck wants to go to Levittown instead of the island paradise of Jamaica? And what the heck am I going to do there all alone? Mom keeps telling me that I've been there before for a visit and that the people I will be sojourning with are kind and fun, and they have a big yard for me to play in and three kitty friends. I also will not be alone during the day, and I won't have to put up with mean neighbor!! Woohoo!

The yard does sounds good, not sure about the cats! By way of explanation, Mom told me that if I came to Jamaica I would have to spend 4 hours in my crate on the plane and that would NOT be fun. I have to agree on that count, so maybe Levittown won't be so bad? And as the folks keep telling me - it's only 7 days! I know I"ll miss them and they will miss me - I just hope they can manage without me. I have my doubts.

Mom and Dad got out a huge red suitcase and started throwing all their clothes and worldly possessions in there. So I jumped in to help get them organized:

I don't know if the Levittown people have a computer I can use, so this may be my last blog entry for a while. So toodles friends - have a good week!


Monday, November 06, 2006

Another Experiment, More Anguish for ME

Ow, my ears are sore! It seems Mom and Dad's crusade against my barking continues. I don't even bark that much, not as much as I once did, but the parents are not taking any chances with me when I am home alone. Amazing what one nameless neighbor can do to a poor defenseless dog like me!

So today a package arrived in the mail - an odd looking grey device called the "Dog Silencer Pro - Bark Free." Dad plugged it in and put it near the front door where I naturally congregate to greet friends and passers-by - but NEVER (for the record) for longer than the legal maximum of 15 minutes per hour. I will swear to that in a court of law! Anyway, so Mom and Dad stood around , an air of expectation on their faces. I knew they were up to no good.

I then heard Gracie bark across the road, so I barked back at her - it's only polite! Suddenly I heard a piercing sound that stopped me in my tracks and hurt my ears! Mom and Dad looked at eachother and grinned! Grinned at my evident discomfiture! I heard Mom whisper to Dad, "oh please God let this be the answer to our prayers!" Hmm, not sure I like this at all. And what really gets my goat is that all this is for Nameless Neighbor, and he has no clue the efforts to which my parents are going to to silence me forever.

Life ain't fair. Get me to the country Goddarn it! I want to bark and be free!


Thursday, November 02, 2006

A Halloween Visitor

I feel a bit bad about not posting about Halloween…you know all those cutsy pics of dogs and humans dressed up in silly costumes? I decided to leave it to my other foxy friends who did such a splendid job – you know Butchy and Snickers, Banba and many others. I just haven’t been in the best of moods lately, with Mom and Dad experimenting with various ways to keep me quiet during the day.

On Halloween day, a man dressed up as a policeman knocked on our door. I thought he was an early trick or treater! He started telling Dad that he was investigating an anonymous complaint about a certain dog’s barking in our home. Holy crap thought I, that’s a good trick to play on Dad! Dad seemed to fall for it, because he started explaining all the steps he and Mom have taken to make sure I am as quiet as a monk in a monastery during the day. I tried to tell Dad to just give him the candy and get rid of him already, but they chatted on amiably. Evidently this trick or treater took his trickery rather seriously, either that, or he knew no-one else (except that nameless neighbor who never seems to go out) was home to doll out candy!

When Mom got home Dad told her about the “policeman” and for some bizarre reason, Mom started to cry and get very upset. Sometimes I sure wish I could talk – I would have said, “Yo Mom, it’s Halloween, don’t get your tits in a tangle, he was just tricking Dad.” But she went on and on, until the tears dried up and I swear I saw smoke coming out of her ears!

So that was my Halloween. Dad went away for work that night, so Mom and I sat on the front steps and dished out candy to all the scary looking kids. I only briefly dressed up in my biker coat while Gracie and Kila wore funny ruffles that made them look like jesters.

Yesterday Mom put me in my crate again – man, I get really upset in that cage, but then I was thrilled to see Elvis’s Mom come over and free me! Seems Mom is paying her to relieve my torture. I then spent the rest of the afternoon crated, but at Elvis’s home where I at least had the great company of my pals Gia and Elvis.

I sure am lonesome without my Dad, Mom looks lonesome too. I can’t wait to see him tomorrow!