Wednesday, April 08, 2009

Groundhog Day

So Mom came home from work and said, "C'mon Ax, let's go to the park, it finally stopped raining." On the way to the park is a railway crossing surrounded by high weeds and lots of mud. As we crossed the street into this wasteland, Mom and I spotted a fat groundhog -- he looked like that fella at left. He was almost as big as me!

I must take a minute to compliment my Mom. I am a good teacher. The old lady learnt from her prior experience. Of course, the minute I saw the groundhog, my terrier instincts kicked in and I pulled that leash like there was no tomorrow. Mom had the sense to let go of me before I pulled her over head first into the mud. I took off after the hog, and followed him into a grassy mound of earth. At that point, Mom reached me somehow and took off the leash so I wouldn't get caught on the undergrowth. She also, generously, decided to let me enjoy myself. (Not like she had a choice, I was NOT leaving!)

There was an entrance on both sides of the mound, so I stuck my whole body in there, and then started digging and digging. Mud was flying everywhere! When I couldn't find the hog at one entrance, I ran over the top of the mound to the other side and tried from the other end. I could smell the rascal, but I couldn't get him. Throughout the pursuit, other dogs walked by on the way to the park and I raced to the top of the mound and barked at them -- this was my groundhog and I was NOT about to share it!

I know its hard to make me out in the photo at right - it was taken on Mom's cell, but you get the idea. That's my bum and tail you see sticking out the hole.

An hour passed by, the sky had blackened and a downpour was imminent. Mom was now worrying about how she was going to leash and drag me home - you can't really see so well in the pic, but the mound was surrounded by bramble, rocks and undergrowth. When the rain came down, Mom took the plunge and managed after some time, to catch and drag me away. Man, I was pissed. I could have stayed there all night.

Of course I was filthy by this time, and Dad was not home, so I knew no way was Mom going to manage to bath me alone. I was excited to think that I'd be able to stay this dirty for a while. I love being dirty.

No suck luck. Mom sequestered me in the kitchen. Dad came home and 5 minutes later, lured with a big piece of provolone cheese, I found my self in the bath being shampooed. Drat!
I'm gonna get me that groundhog!!! He lives to see another day, but not for long. Heh heh.


PS Happy Passover and Happy Easter everyone. How come the Jews get the bum deal again - cardboard, yuch, even I won't eat that! And the Christians get gaily painted chocolate eggs? Geez.

Wednesday, April 01, 2009

Chef Axel

So Mom often complains that Dad never cooks. The other day, he was sort of forced into it. Mom took a very yummy looking beef brisket out the freezer (or the icy snackbox as I like to call it) planning to cook it as soon as she got home so it could be ready for a late-ish dinner. But then she got delayed at work and called Dad. The conversation went like this:

"Babe - I can't get home for another 2 hours. If you want to eat, you gotta cook!"
"I'm here. You know I don't cook."
"Well, times are about to change, I promise you even Axel could cook this brisket"
["Grrrr, I resent that!!!"]
"Are you sure?"
"Quite confident. This is what you do...Take the brisket, put it in a large pyrex dish. Take the bottle of bbq sauce I left on the counter, pour it over the meat. Take the packet of onion soup mix I left on the kitchen counter, and pour that over the meat. Finally, take a can of coke and pour THAT over the meat. Cover it and put it in the oven."
"Then what?"
"Then nothing, that's it. Do it now and it will be ready in 3 hours!"
So Dad and I got to it and it took about 2 minutes to mix the ingredients and put the beast in the oven. Over time, the house filled with the most delish smell!

When Mom got home, Dad took it out the oven and sliced it with an electric knife while I supervised (with my mouth open). It was scrumptuous, soft and tasty...heavenly.
And Dad strutted around the kitchen like a proud peacock like he'd given birth to the brisket. Mom was most amused. But alas, Dad has not cooked since!

PS The parents saw a house they liked primarily because it was above a creek and they pictured me running amok and frolicking in there....don't forget to check out mom's blog to read more...