Enchanted Forest

Yesterday Mom had the brilliant idea of going for a hike despite the 26F temperature outside (for people in SA reading this blog - that is about minus 6C). Dad thought she was crazy but weirdly went along with it. We drove for quite a while until we came to Carpenters Forest in Mt. Airy. Mom and Dad had a hard time keeping up with me because they were wearing ten layers of clothing. I refuse to wear any clothing whatever the weather - I'm a tough guy!

So here we are, Dad and I (with Mom lagging behind as usual), entering the woods:


Doesn't my Dad look silly all hooded up?
Dad stops to read a sign welcoming us to the enchanted forest...

Next I came upon a very interesting looking log. Something smelled weird in there, so I had to check it out for a while:

Unfortunately, no snacks in there...

Suddenly I heard a noise. I looked up, and saw a family with their German Shephard approaching...

He seemed friendly - so I went up to say HI.


After only 30 minutes, Mom and Dad started to complain that they couldn't feel their own faces, so we headed back to the car. I put up a protest and refused to get in - I wasn't done yet exploring the woods - but as usual, I lost the battle and Dad picked me up and heaved me into the car.

This morning Mom slept late (for a change - boy does she like to sleep). When Dad and I get back from our early walk, I always run up the stairs with my after-walk cookie, jump on Mom and drop the cookie/chew/bone on her head! I think it's a grand ol' way to wake up, don't you?
Mom staggered downstairs in her long undies (which she stole from Dad after they shrunk in the wash) - I immediately jumped in her lap with my piggie chew and she assumed "the position" - which is, hold the chew FOR ME, so it's easier to chew!


Boy in the picture on the left, my head looks ten times bigger than Mom's. heh heh.

So that is my news for now. Mom just took me for a walk in the even colder than yesterday weather. She had had enough after 20 minutes of the cold wind numbing her face, when she started to drag me home...and along comes my hyper pal Dublin and Mom knew there was NO way I was leaving! She's a trooper - she unclipped my lead - and off we went, running in circles around the parks like happy lunatics.

AGC

Brrrrr

It's too darn cold! That's my excuse for not blogging for a week folks. When it is this cold, I prefer to curl up and stay in bed. Little do Mom and Dad know that while they are at work, I climb into THEIR bed, put my head on THEIR pillows and pull the covers up to my chin. I managed to take a self portrait to show you:



Don't I look snug?

Last night I had so much energy that I got into a bit of mischief. I went into the parent's room and set about dismantling Mom's sleep apnea mask. I know I shouldn't have, but I did notice that she had a brand new one delivered today - so technically, the way I see it, she didn't need this old one. So I was doing her a favor, no? Unfortunately, she didn't see it that way. She was rather pissed at me and even more so when she discovered that my fur was full of sticky pieces of the gel mask. Eek. Anyway, I stand by what I did and am proud of the results. If I wouldn't have been interrupted...it would have been completely destroyed and would have been no need to recycle or trash it. But no...the parents have to stop me.

This morning I went to the vet to get a bordatella shot. I don't mind visiting the vet and I didn't even feel the shot or protest when my nails were cut. Can you believe the vet thanked me for being such a good boy!? I got weighed by the way, and I'm a staggering 28.5 lbs now. Mom asked the vet if she thought I was overweight and the vet said I was certainly getting there. She had the audacity to tell Mom to replace my milkbone and rawhide treats for carrots! I mean, seriously, what a crock that is - Mom and Dad will be the laughing stock of the dog park if they rock up with carrots in their pockets. Last time I checked, we were not donkeys!!!!

I just got home from playing with Gracie so I'm rather tired. Think I'll curl up on my couch perch for a while.

Cheers,

AGC

Gracie's Visit

Gracie's Mom is trying to sell their house so them can move to another state. This makes me VERY sad and I secretly hope that noone buys their house because I can't imagine my life without Gracie in it. I know that sounds horrid and selfish, but I can't help it. I love Gracie. Gracie is an Anatolian Shephard and we have known eachother since we were both very small. We love to play and run and wrestle.

So a few days ago, Gracie came over to visit 'cos her Mom had to clean her house for a showing. I get really excited when Gracie comes over, and boy do we have fun! Here are the photos to prove it!


Here we are searching for lost treats behind the sofa cushions. Before Mom goes to work in the mornings, while I am out with Dad, she drops treats in the sofa and I come home and search for them! Gracie and I were hoping I'd missed one...


I suspect Gracie might have found a treat after all - why else would she be licking her chops?


Here we are wrestling! Look carefully, you can't see much of me except my huge teeth!


I really enjoy standing on the sofa to make me tall and then dive bombing Gracie!


Now it's time for tug-o-war with my silly squeaking octopus.

All in all, we had a fabulous time! How will I survive when she moves away? WAAAAAAAA!

AGC

Eagles are a Bore!

Humans are, in my esteemed opinion, oftentimes quite crazy. Mom and Dad leave the TV on for me during the work week, and if I have to hear that stupid Fly Eagles Fly song or E-A-G-L-E-S chant one more time, I may just have to bite someone. The Eagles are Philadelphia's football team and they are playing New Orleans Saints tonite and local people have gone quite bananas. I find it one BIG Bore. So does Mom. Dad is sort of ambivalent though he is watching the game and screaming at the television as I type this. Don't tell anyone, but I am hoping the Saints win so I don't have to hear all this Eagles crap for another year. I also think the folks in New Orleans need something to get excited about after the terrible times they are going through after that bitch Katrina nearly wiped them out!

In other news, remember I mentioned that two Wires had been stolen from a truck at a gas station in Florida? Well, I received a disturbing update about what's going on in Florida...unfortunately, still no sign of Toby and Dakota - but I did want my blog readers to hear this report:

As of today, no news or new sightings. We continue to receive strange calls and emails from folks wanting money upfront for information about the dogs. Lost dogs are one of the latest scams on the internet. Folks need to be very careful when driving with dogs in their cars anywhere in Florida but especially along the interstate highways. There is a dog stealing ring that operates along I-75, I-4 and I-95 according to the sheriff's department. Folks need to lock their doors if dogs are left in their cars or vans even for 10 minutes while at the gas station.
Orlando has a problem with a group of people called the traveling criminals from the Carolina's and Eastern Europe. They come to Orlando every winter and run different scams. Last winter they were caught stealing dogs. They followed folks home from the dog groomer's and were stealing freshly groomed purebred dogs from fenced in yards. Most of the dogs were never found.

Note to self: Stay away from Florida!

After communicating with dog psychic (or animal communicator) Liesl last week, Dean-O sent me this picture of myself suggesting it might just be the perfect outfit for my next consultation. Actually, I think I may be quite psychic myself - I can anticipate everything that Mom and Dad are about to do and communicate my wishes to them quite easily. For example, when I care for a nibble, I stand and stare at the box of Milkbones until they notice my disappearance, seek me out and inevitably croon, "Oh Axie Pax - do you want a snack?" I look at them with my adorable mug, and communicate, "oh yes please, that would be lovely" - and two seconds later, I have a Milkbone in my mouth. HA!



Today Dad dropped me off at Doggy Day Care for half a day, but the parents forgot that the biz closes at 5PM on Saturdays! At 4.55pm the owners called Mom to remind her to pick me up! She arrived 10 minutes later in a complete tizzy and wracked with guilt as the owners were standing by the entrance of their establishment, coats and hats on, me on a leash...boy was I relieved to see Mom - I thought for sure I'd be spending the night there, alone. Mom apologized profusely to the owners and then to me, all the way home, reassuring me she would never have forgotten me. Likely story.

And on a final note - there are two foxie photo contests going on right now. The Fox Terrier Network, of which we are members, is running a three category contest: wires, smooths and a joint category with the title, "Foxie, what have you done?" I am entered in both the first and third categories and expect to win of course. Click here to see the wiry entries. Click here to see the "Foxie what have you done?" category.
Then the Wire Yahoo Group is running a wire photo contest. You can see both slide shows by clicking on the links below. Even if I say so myself, we foxies are the most gorgeous breed on the face of this earth!
Slide Show 1
Slide show 2

And finally finally, Happy 45th Wedding Anniversary to my grandparents in South Africa! Wow, 45 years - that's 315 dog years! I drink a toast (of water) to you both and wish you many more healthy and happy years together.

AGC

The Psychic

Well, yesterday turned out to be an interesting time! My friend Sophie's Dad Vince and Gracie's Mom Dee told my unsuspecting parents that they had both consulted with a pet psychic and invited Mom and Dad to a session! Mom and Dad are both rather skeptical of people who claim to be able to read an animal's thoughts via a phone call! But at the end of the experience, they both looked at eachother and proclaimed, "That was cool!"

So this is how it went down. Vince and Sophie came over to my house (Dee couldn't make it), and they called Liesl, the pet psychic. (By the way, Mom found an article about her online - to read it, click here - it's pretty interesting reading.) At first, I was running around my house overcome with excitement of having Sophie visit. Liesl told Mom she couldn't contact me because I was so unfocused. Me? Ha! So Dad grabbed me and sat holding me on the floor behind the couch so I could not see Sophie. The first thing Liesl said to Mom (but in talking to me) was "Hi, Little Guy". Mom was flabbergasted as that is what Mom and Dad always refer to me as - their little guy! Then Liesl asked Mom to describe me physically and she guessed correctly that although my tail is tri-color, the tip is white. She told Mom that I was very hyper, very sensitive to noise, super intelligent (the woman is a genius) and finally, very brave! It was like she knew my best pals were pitbulls, American bulldogs and the like! All through her chat with Mom she tried to speak to me...she told me to try to cut down on my barking so that my parents could trust me without the bark collar. She told me I didn't have to be such a vigilant watchdog - that Dad could protect us all.

At some point, Mom wanted Dad to hear Liesl, so she surrended the phone. He reported that she told him that I loved more than anything to RUN. Right on woman! Mom and Dad laughed when she relayed to them my responses to her comments - they were all pretty cheeky. Wow, she really did read my thoughts!

After 20 minutes, Liesl spoke to Vince about Sophie while I tried really hard to sit still and chill. But I wanted to play. Sophie doesn't dig playing with me so much 'cos she's quite an old bitch - I suspect my hyperness gets on her tits, so to speak. Here is a pic of us:

So all in all, it was an interesting time meeting Liesl - later that night, I heard Gracie and Emma barking their furry heads off down the road and I didn't bark. Mom was sure it was becos of what Liesl had said to me. But I didn't want her to get excited, so 5 minutes later, I let loose one heck of a bark. Heh heh.

AGC

New Years Resolutions

First of all. I am in love. Shhh, don't tell Miss Amelia - she might get mad! My new love is just a very wee gal (Miss Amelia is older than I am and I know that is in vogue...but I prefer them young and virginal), you met her on my blog last time. Her name used to be Spencer but she was rechristened Koobuss this week because her silly owners couldn't remember her name was Spencer. You see the wires they had before the wee gal were all called Koobus, so they just couldn't remember to call her something else. Humans are so weird. Here are the latest pictures:

I also wanted to share some cute photos of my two Californian pals - BigFoot Fletch (who is actually Miss Amelia's bro) and Maxie taken on Xmas morning - By the way, I know for a fact that their Mom is Jewish, so I'm not sure what's up with the dogs celebrating Xmas instead of Hanukkah. Remind me to ask them! Perhaps that is a Hanukkah bush in the background?

So we all made it to 2007! For a while there when the nasty nameless neighbor was reporting me to the cops, I thought I'd be locked up for good! On New Year's eve, I sat down in a very comtemplative mood and wrote down a few new years resolutions:

1. I will cut down on my consumption of treats
2. I will stop beating up Wiley, the bearded collie, in the dog park. I just can't stand him, damn it.
3. I will keep working on my barking so that I don't need to wear a bark collar
4. I will try not to hog the bed at night forcing Mom and Dad to shiver with no covers or worse, push Dad out of bed.
5. I will cut down on destroying anything with stuffing making our house look like the aftermath of a cotton candy assault.
6. I will blog more frequently
7. I will give Mom kisses. I only like to kiss Dad as he is the alpha and Mom is my servant.
8. I will not dive onto Mom or Dad's lap the second they put the car in park or unclick their seatbelts
9. I will not try to flee out the door everytime Mom or Dad try to leave the house
10. I will try my damnest to be a good boy (who am I trying to kid?)

Finally, here a story about a very stupid human from San Francisco:

A Burlington woman has been charged with trying to get painkillers from a drug store by using her dog's name. Kymberly Smith, 38, faces more than two dozen charges related to her alleged repeated attempts to fraudulently obtain painkillers at a Farmington pharmacy under her dog's name. Farmington police said Smith was a veterinary technician for several area veterinarians when she began using their ID number to call in prescriptions for herself under the name "Zack Smith."
I mean do you every hear stories of Dogs ordering Frontline in their humans' names? Just plain silly!

AGC

Happy 2007!

I know. I've been really slack in updating my blog. I've just been busy celebrating Hanukkah, then I got to celebrate Xmas with my non-Jewish pals and now it's almost the new year. Wow, 5 more months and I'll be TWO years old. In human years I'm just about bar mitzvah! Luckily for me dogs are not allowed in synagogue!

I am proud to report that I helped a friend in Pennsylvania find a new Wire for her household. They lost their beloved Wire Koobus a few weeks ago of old age and were desperate to fill their lives with a new Wire to love. As I say...noone should ever be without a Wire! So tomorrow, this wiry-loving family are travelling to NY State to pick up their new addition who they have named Spencer. I think I'm in love:

I look forward to meeting Spencer in the Summer as they only live 110 miles from Philadelphia!

Despite it getting dark here before 5pm, I am grateful to Dad for always making a grand effort to take me to the dog park so I can see my friends. Their fearless owners also still come to the park eventhough it is mostly very dark with no lighting. Some of my friends have trippy flashing collars but me being mostly white, am easier to find. Pity the owners of black labs! Anyway, so I love it when Dad gets home early from work, or else I'm stuck being walked by Mom who is too afraid to go near the park in the dark - she just shleps me around the neighborhood streets that are well lit under the streetlamps. But it's a solitary walk with no play! So Dad is my hero!

I know I shouldn't complain as I now have my lunchtime walk as well! Elvis and Gia's Mom P walks me every day with either of her kids or another dog she walks, my buddy Austin. I love the break in my monotonous day and am a much happy camper since Mom and Dad decided to pay for this great service!

MISSING DOGS: CAN YOU HELP?
A man travelling through Florida with his two Wires Toby and Dakota stopped at a gas station and when he came back to his car, both dogs were gone. Stolen or released? Noone knows, but he is desperately looking for them. If you are in the Lake City, Florida area - please click here to find out more.

And, to anyone living in the Park City, Utah area - there is a Giant Shnauzer with the same name as me, AXEL, who is missing. His family really miss him. Please visit www.findaxel.com for more details.

I will pray all three dogs find their way home SOON.

Anyway, to my two legged and four legged friends - may you all have a healthy, happy and tail wagging new year 2007!

AGC

PS You know that Dingo Cane I got for Hanukkah - I finished it in THREE days! I'm a pig!

Hanukkah Rocks!

Happy 4th night of Hanukkah!
It just gets better every day. On the first night of Hanukkah - Mom and Dad lit the shabbat candles and the Hanukkah candles, so the house was a-glow and we put all our lovely Hanukkah cards from our doggie friends around the display:



Then after we lit the candles and sang some songs, Mom and Dad gave me the most awesome Hanukkah gift - a huge candy cane made of Dingo rawhide! I nearly had a cadenza! I definitely did a jig!

And then today, a big parcel arrived in the mail from Unkie Phillip and Auntie Chris and my girlfriend Miss Amelia, her Mom Alexandra and their sis Beau and kitty Pepper. I was so excited I could barely contain myself as Mom opened the box. Out came the most amazing kong chicken toy on a long rope (see pic below) and Mom demonstrated how it worked by twirling it over my head and throwing it for me to catch. It was a wild time! I then took it and ran upstairs to bed so I could examine it closely. I also got TWO packages of Dingo Minis - so when I'm done with the cane (I have eaten two thirds already), I will have MORE Dingoes to enjoy!!



Mom and Dad also got a gift, something edible called Poppycock. Dad looked very very happy! If you look closely at the photo below of me inspecting the package to see if I could find any more goodies...you'll see Dad pigging out on the Poppycock in the left corner! Heh heh, and they think I am a piggie. Dad didn't wait half a second to open that yummy gift up. Mom liked it too. I got ONE lousy popcorn, but I didn't care, I preferred my chicken on a rope! Another thing to note in the picture below, is the gorgeous blue blankie with doggies on it - that was also a Hanukkah gift from Auntie Carol, Big Foot Fletch and Maxie. I sure am a lucky dog!



You may notice as well in the photos that I have a bit of a goofy haircut. They trimmed my hair around my eyes and now I look a bit creepy if you ask me...But I can see better, so I will forsake my vanity for vision this once.

Anyway, I gotta get working on the rest of my candy cane, time is of the essence - I have two more packages of Dingoes to get through. By the way, Mom made latkes tonite and the whole house smells of oily potatoes...if you want to revisit how to make latkes, click here to see my step by step guide from last year. Try not to notice how much thinner I was back then. I really need to go on a diet. I'll call Jenny Craig in the morning. If that whale-like woman Kirsty Alley could shed her pounds, there is hope for moi.

Wonder what other surprises are still waiting to happen with 4 more days of Hanukkah remaining. More miracles I hope.

AGC

Dirty Dog

I'm a dirty, dirty dog. I look like a scruff muffin. Later, I am going to get groomed, so stick around for the AFTER photo...



I see I got tagged by Gus to tell you 3 things I want for Hanukkah and 3 things I really don't want:

I want...
1. End to puppy mills, animal abuse and homeless dogs (my philanthropic wish)
2. A Dingo chew the size of the Empire State Building (though how will it fit in my house?) (My greedy wish)
3. A new house big enough to accommodate #2, with a big yard and no horrible nameless neighbor who complains about my barking. (My greatest wish!)

What I really don't want:
1. More visits from Animal Control or the Police for falsely alleging I bark too much
2. Days alone at home. I hate being alone.
3. Regular baths!

AGC

Axel Dreams of Hanukkah

THREE days until the exquisite festival of latkes and lights. I'm more partial to the former, of course. With sour cream and apple sauce. But I'll take 'em as them come!

AGC

PS Excellent news - looks like our buddy Elliot is off to his new home across the border to Canada. What a great holiday it will be!

What I want for Hanukkah

Well it was a big day for Mom today, she went for her green card interview! She had been gathering documents and pictures for weeks to show that she was genuinely married to Dad and she was pretty nervous. I stayed home of course, but I kept them in my thoughts while I chewed on my marrow bone, and when they got home, Mom was beaming, so I know I helped! Mom told me the man who did the interview, when commenting how cold it was, grumbled that his big black labrador had kicked him out of his own bed last night! Well, that was that then, most of the interview turned to a discussion about dogs! Heh heh, Mom lucked out! In two weeks the mailman will bring her Green Card - I am hoping it is like a Greenie - I might have to eat it, though I don't think Mom will go for that!!

Man it has gone really cold here - it was 9F with the chill factor. Where Mom comes from - that is minus 11 C! It never gets that cold in Africa! Dad hates the cold and wants to go live somewhere warm like with Gus in Arizona or with all our friends in California! I actually like the cold. Mom put my silly red coat on last night to take me for a walk - and I'll let you in on a secret - I can't pee pee when I'm wearing a coat! I just can't! I usually pee many times along the way to mark my journey and Mom noticed I was lifting my leg but then changing my mind so she figured it out and half way through our walk, she took off my coat and then, boy did I pee! I have my own coat Mom, I don't need an extra one. Just because YOU are cold, doesn't mean I am...that is silly Jewish Mom nonsense.

My smooth pals are very lucky to have a living warm rug - their sister is a Pyranees Mountain Dog. Just look at the two smooths snuggling up in her warm coat!

Other news is that our house is full of mouses! I have been a very busy boy helping Dad to catch them. I hear them squeaking after they get caught in a trap and notify Dad by trying to dig up the kitchen floor/cabinets/oven. I get real excited when we extricate the mousetrap and I see the little things writhing on the trap. Mom gets all sad and insists on killing them immediately to spare their suffering - Dad says they are pests and doesn't feel bad for them. I happen to agree with Dad - I just wish they'd let me kill them or at least play with them for a bit!

Finally, I found the perfect Hanukkah gift for myself and I have left hints for Mom and Dad all over the house by printing out this image! It's a terrier credit card! Just think, I could take it and go to Petsmart and buy as many Dingo treats, Milkbones, toys and Kongs as I like!



Seven days until Hanukkah! Woohoo - I smell a shopping spree! Anyone know who I can write to to make sure my request is honored. Christian dogs write to Santa, who do Jewish dogs write to?

AGC

December is Here!

Sorry I haven't written for a while, I've been trying to get used to being home again. I miss my temporary home in the burbs, especially my yard where I could run and chase squirrels and bark at the dog next door through the fence. I also miss the strange company of my three feline hosts. Some people believe wires and cats can never get along, but then my friend Alexandra in Washington State, sends me this delightful picture of her and Pepper the cat sharing her bed! Maybe if I'd stayed in Levittown a little longer I would have become friends with Midnight the Cat.



Can you believe it is already December? Mom has gone batty decorating the outside of our house with flashing Hanukkah lights. She also tied a big dreidl (spinning top) to the door knocker and then couldn't figure out why I kept barking by the door. It took Mom the genius decorator a few hours to figure out the wind was blowing the dreidl and making the door knocker, well, knock. And I being the fierce protector of our house, just did what came naturally every time I heard a thud. Although Mother is not against Christmas stuff, she felt like we had to decorate for Hanukkah to show the ethnic diversity of our street. Translation: One Jewish family (us) and the rest, Xmas celebrants. I am anxiously counting the days until Hanukkah to see what gifts I get - we have only 14 days to go, unlike you Xmas dogs, who have 23 days to go! Heh heh, and they say there are no advantages to being a Jewish dog!

As we snuggle up with our families over the holiday season, we need to remember those poor friends stuck in shelters. I know of three beautiful Wires, in desperate need of forever or foster homes. I know Mom and Dad would open their hearts if they could, but we rent our house and the lease is very clear on stipulating only one four legged being in the house. We also wouldn't want to further irk the nameless neighbor Scrooge-type-personality, now would we?
[By the way, while on the subject, a quick update. Since being home I have either been crated in the mornings and bark collared in the afternoons or bark collared all day. The new collar monitors how many times I bark and Mom and Dad have been quite pleased that I haven't triggered it very much at all. Also Elvis's Mom has been coming round to take me for a jaunt at lunchtime and I sure appreciate that given how much I hate being alone at home!]

But back to the guys needing homes. First up is Elliot, a senior wire of 10 years. He is described as a very sweet boy who is very good with kids and other dogs. He is situated in New York State but I'm sure he can travel almost anywhere. If you can help Elliot, please email his mom Jacalyn.



The second Wire looking for a home is a female named Mitzi. She is currently living in the Dallas area. Her parents bought a new dog Elvis into her home, a very little one (as seen in the photo) and poor Mitzi just did what came naturally - thought he was prey and went after him. So now they want to get rid of Mitzi. Damn unfair if you ask me. Last in first out is what I stand by! Let Elvis find a new home...but I don't run the world (what a better, more interesting place it would be if I did, huh?) - so we need to find Mitzi a home. She is probably better off being an only dog. If you can help, please email Julie.



The third wire is Cooper. When he came to rescue, he looked like a furball, but now he looks grand, don't you think? Please also contact Julie if you can help Cooper.



Did you hear that Barney, the first dog visited the troops in Iraq? Barney is a Scottish terrier, and they are alright I suppose, but if you really want to cheer up the troops, those amazing men and woman who are despatched to dangerous places and risk their lives, you need to round up a whole lot of fox terriers - smooth and wiry - and send them off to entertain the soldiers! I can just see the article now:

A 100-dog delegation of smooth and wire fox terriers were sent off to Iraq today with Robin Williams to bring comfort and hilarity to the American troops stationed there. Upon landing in Iraq, the minute the door of the plane opened, the foxies took off in all directions, barking their greetings to one and all. Four hours later when the last fox terrier had finally been rounded up - they entertained the troops by barking their rendition of The Star Spangled Banner and bouncing up and down the stage....

One dog who would definitely be part of that delegation is Highcrest - who demonstrates his bouncing skills in the photo below:



Happy weekend!
AGC

Home Again

Did you miss me? I certainly missed writing my blog! My imposter parents, E & L, wouldn't let me near their keyboard!

Anyway, I survived my weekend in Levittown. Or, it may be more appropriate to say, my imposter parents survived the week with ME. I have to admit, I was quite the bad boy! I got especially difficult when E & L tried to leave the house without me. I was so successful, E missed her train to work on 3 occasions! Not bad huh, that's 3 out of 5 days. SCORE! The poor folks, I felt sorry for them, when they started going to extraordinary lengths to get out their OWN house! They first erected a barricade using boxes from their garage - but I figured that out fast, and thoroughly enjoyed the challenge. Then they took a folding table and tried to block their door with that. I had to laugh to see them clambering over it to get out the house.

One night I was especially bad. I stole a pen out of imposter Mom E's bureau, and got her to chase me around and around the dining room table. Of course I had no intention of biting the pen and spraying ink all over their house...but of course E didn't know that, and fell for my wise ploy to get her to play. It was around midnight, so she got rather pissed off to say the least!

But other than that, I was quite a well behaved dude. I gave lots of cuddles, ate my snacks on E & L's laps and tried very hard to befriend their three cats. I even brought my toys to them one at a time to entice them to play. But no luck there. It's true I guess what they say about cats and dogs...

Here are pics of me and my imposter parents - E pictured left, and L pictured right:



After what seemed like ten years, suddenly the doorbell rang, and there was Dad, standing at the door, looking all tanned and excited. I was happy to see him I admit, I think I'd given up on ever going home...but I decided to let him know I didn't appreciate being abandoned for a week, so I played the aloof card. Once in the car, I had an anxiety attack, started shaking and vomiting, as it struck me that maybe Dad was going to drop me off somewhere else and abandon me again. I couldn't bear the thought of getting used to another strange couple and strange home.

But once we arrived home and I flew around the house checking out all my haunts, I relaxed and boy, I felt so happy to be home. Then Mom came home, and I did quite a jig but then thought I'd induce a bit of guilt, so I drew the aloof card again. I like to keep them guessing.

Anyway, Mom and Dad showed me their photos from their honeymoon in Jamaica - and boy did I get jealous. Bet you will too:


Mom and Dad overlooking a cliff in Negril


Mom and Dad horse-riding on the beach. Mom's horse is laughing at her!


Dad on a paddleboat, Mom was seated next to him


Mom lazing on a chaise-longue IN the sea at sunset


There are dogs in Negril, albeit many stray ones. This dog lives at a craft store. You'll never guess what his name is!!?? REX! It gave Mom and Dad a shudder - in case you've forgotten, that's our "nameless" neighbor!


A pack of hungry Jamaican dogs. Mom said she wished she'd brought a box of Milkbones with her to Jamaica to feed all the thin dogs.

If you want to see all the photos, this is a link to the photogallery on Kodakgallery.com.

By the way, today Mom got an email from imposter parent L. It was short and sweet. It read, "E is missing your dog." I had to chuckle to myself, after all it didn't say "WE are missing your dog!"

Finally -- Happy Thanksgiving Everyone! I spent the day with Mom and Dad at Dad's parents. I wasn't allowed any turkey (Mom claims it is dangerous for me...what a load of ...), but I did get a plate of ham! I never did profess to being a Kosher dog! Mom doesn't know what she is missing!!!

AGC

Levittown? I thought I was going to JAMAICA!

Mom doesn't stop yapping to me about going away somewhere on Monday night. Her and Dad have been talking about Jamaica this and Jamaica that, so naturally I assumed that was where we were all going. Now Mom tells me I am going to Levittown instead. WHAT?

I am not happy. Who the heck wants to go to Levittown instead of the island paradise of Jamaica? And what the heck am I going to do there all alone? Mom keeps telling me that I've been there before for a visit and that the people I will be sojourning with are kind and fun, and they have a big yard for me to play in and three kitty friends. I also will not be alone during the day, and I won't have to put up with mean neighbor!! Woohoo!

The yard does sounds good, not sure about the cats! By way of explanation, Mom told me that if I came to Jamaica I would have to spend 4 hours in my crate on the plane and that would NOT be fun. I have to agree on that count, so maybe Levittown won't be so bad? And as the folks keep telling me - it's only 7 days! I know I"ll miss them and they will miss me - I just hope they can manage without me. I have my doubts.

Mom and Dad got out a huge red suitcase and started throwing all their clothes and worldly possessions in there. So I jumped in to help get them organized:


I don't know if the Levittown people have a computer I can use, so this may be my last blog entry for a while. So toodles friends - have a good week!

AGC

Another Experiment, More Anguish for ME

Ow, my ears are sore! It seems Mom and Dad's crusade against my barking continues. I don't even bark that much, not as much as I once did, but the parents are not taking any chances with me when I am home alone. Amazing what one nameless neighbor can do to a poor defenseless dog like me!

So today a package arrived in the mail - an odd looking grey device called the "Dog Silencer Pro - Bark Free." Dad plugged it in and put it near the front door where I naturally congregate to greet friends and passers-by - but NEVER (for the record) for longer than the legal maximum of 15 minutes per hour. I will swear to that in a court of law! Anyway, so Mom and Dad stood around , an air of expectation on their faces. I knew they were up to no good.

I then heard Gracie bark across the road, so I barked back at her - it's only polite! Suddenly I heard a piercing sound that stopped me in my tracks and hurt my ears! Mom and Dad looked at eachother and grinned! Grinned at my evident discomfiture! I heard Mom whisper to Dad, "oh please God let this be the answer to our prayers!" Hmm, not sure I like this at all. And what really gets my goat is that all this is for Nameless Neighbor, and he has no clue the efforts to which my parents are going to to silence me forever.

Life ain't fair. Get me to the country Goddarn it! I want to bark and be free!

AGC

A Halloween Visitor

I feel a bit bad about not posting about Halloween…you know all those cutsy pics of dogs and humans dressed up in silly costumes? I decided to leave it to my other foxy friends who did such a splendid job – you know Butchy and Snickers, Banba and many others. I just haven’t been in the best of moods lately, with Mom and Dad experimenting with various ways to keep me quiet during the day.

On Halloween day, a man dressed up as a policeman knocked on our door. I thought he was an early trick or treater! He started telling Dad that he was investigating an anonymous complaint about a certain dog’s barking in our home. Holy crap thought I, that’s a good trick to play on Dad! Dad seemed to fall for it, because he started explaining all the steps he and Mom have taken to make sure I am as quiet as a monk in a monastery during the day. I tried to tell Dad to just give him the candy and get rid of him already, but they chatted on amiably. Evidently this trick or treater took his trickery rather seriously, either that, or he knew no-one else (except that nameless neighbor who never seems to go out) was home to doll out candy!

When Mom got home Dad told her about the “policeman” and for some bizarre reason, Mom started to cry and get very upset. Sometimes I sure wish I could talk – I would have said, “Yo Mom, it’s Halloween, don’t get your tits in a tangle, he was just tricking Dad.” But she went on and on, until the tears dried up and I swear I saw smoke coming out of her ears!

So that was my Halloween. Dad went away for work that night, so Mom and I sat on the front steps and dished out candy to all the scary looking kids. I only briefly dressed up in my biker coat while Gracie and Kila wore funny ruffles that made them look like jesters.

Yesterday Mom put me in my crate again – man, I get really upset in that cage, but then I was thrilled to see Elvis’s Mom come over and free me! Seems Mom is paying her to relieve my torture. I then spent the rest of the afternoon crated, but at Elvis’s home where I at least had the great company of my pals Gia and Elvis.

I sure am lonesome without my Dad, Mom looks lonesome too. I can’t wait to see him tomorrow!

AGC

Video Premiere

Mom and Dad have a very antiquated video camera - it's not digital or anything. Tonite they were fooling around and managed to capture me on tape! The camera is so big and scary-looking that it freaked me out...and naturally, when I'm spooked, I ...bark!

As if I need added encouragement to bark with all the neighbor stuff going on. For the record, this barking episode lasted under a minute, well within the barking ordinance laws for Philadelphia! You never know who could be reading this (award winning) blog!



Click on my gorgeous mug above to start the movie.
(It is quite a large file, so depending on your connection, it may take some time to download)

AGC

MAYDAY!

Life continues to decline. Yesterday Mom and Dad went to a bat mitzvah for most of the day and they put me in my crate. When they came home they found me cowering in the corner, shaking and shivering, and all my bedding and the crate tray pushed out the crate. It is hard for me, Axel G Chocholoza, to admit all this to you. I know you all think I'm a very dapper, brave terrier, but being confined in my crate terrifies me. I am used to having the run of my house, not being shut up in a cage. I was not trying to con Mom and Dad, I am truly petrified of being alone in my crate. Below is a picture taken just after I was released from my crate after 6 hours. I managed to push the board and mattress out in my distress...



Anyway, it is too upsetting to talk about it. One nice thing to happen last week was I had a really good haircut. Melissa just graduated grooming school and needed to test her stripping skills. We thought she did a pretty good job! In picture one I am posing; picture two, Dad and I are eating snacks in bed!



Also, today Mom and I went to visit some friends of hers, Evey and Larry. They had an awesome yard which I played in and lots of interesting things to sniff, including 3 cats. Mom has some weird notion that I may be spending a week at their house when her and dad go to Jamaica - ha, that's what she thinks! I ain't missing out on Jamaica. After all, with all this crating and neighbor stress, I truly need a vacation!

AGC

What the Heck is Going On?

Life ain't so great of late. I don't know what has gotten into Mom and Dad, but suddenly they think they are boss. Who are they kidding!

They have embarked on this new nonsense of putting me in my house when they leave for work. Reportedly, this is because of the complaining neighbor again. He shall remain nameless - I don't want to risk a lawsuit now that my blog is award-winning and read the world over - oh what the hell, let's make up a dark, evil name to represent him...I'll throw it out to you, to give me some ideas...let me know!

So anyway, I like my house, but I don't like being forced into my house with the door closed. Yesterday Dad put me in there and I went rather beserk. They thought they were clever by leaving me a tiny waterbowl, dad's smelly socks ("oh your scent will comfort him," said my Mom. Comfort my ass Mom, they honk!!), treats and chews. They also read somewhere to cover the crate with a blanket to make it more like a den. What idiots. This is the 21st Century people, I am no longer a wolf like my ancestors. I dig sleeping in beds, not in cages disguised as dens! So anyway, while they abandoned me, I tore up Dad's socks, I overturned the water dish (not my wisest move in retrospect, since I ended up having to lie on a soggy mattress), scattered my chews and pulled the crate cover through the crate bars and tried to rip that up. My intent was simple - show those fools I was UNHAPPY.

But then this morning, Mom shoved me in there again. She then went to her bedroom to get a wooly hat (it's gone cold) and would you know it, genius that I am, I managed to bust out of the crate and went running and diving onto Mom and Dad's bed! Oh what pandemonium. Mom was shocked. And boy did I then make it tough for her to catch me and put me back in there. But fool that I am - I fell for the fetch yummy turkey treat thrown into crate trick. This time Mom made sure she had the door latched properly, and I was stuck. I howled. I cried. I barked. My Mother was stoic. And she left.

I heard her tell Dad later that she fretted all day about me being in the crate all day. Bloody right she should fret. But the joke of it is, when she came home from work, two hours early worried about me...I wasn't in my crate! Gracie's Mom had come over at 10:30am to rescue me and take me to play at her house with Gracie, Kila and the new kitty Mojo. Oh I can shit myself laughing picturing Mom worrying about me ripping up the crate when all along I was happily playing at Gracie's house! heh heh, it cracks me up.

Mom was not as amused. But I know she was happy for me.

On the way to our evening walk, we ran right into Nameless Neighbor and he started lecturing Mom about crating me and being consistent. Mom asked for him to tell her when he will be working and not home during the day so I don't have to stay in my house, but he refused saying, "consider me home every day from 9-5pm."
If I wasn't a peace loving canine, I would bite his ass. Then again, maybe not. It probably smells worse than Dad's socks.

AGC

Officially Awesome!

I received official notification of my victory! I now hold the "Awesome Blog of the Month" award under my belt. I did a grand jig of joy!

Here is my official award:


Thanks again to everyone who voted, and special hugs to Butchy & Snickers, and Buster who were very worthy competitors.

AGC