Blooming Marvelous!

Knock Knock?
Who's there?
REX
Rex who?
Rex the angry neighbor who doesn't dig my barking.

EEK
Hello bark collar ol' enemy.

And I've been a really good boy of late, barking a lot less and I haven't destroyed any remotes or phones for at least a week.

Anyway, you know Butchy and Snicker's Mom Linda is always winning photo contests of her beautiful ponds and gardens. Like this one of Snickers for example:



Well Linda, look out, Mom is going to give you competition! Today the irises bloomed in gorgeous purple and yellow and Mom snapped this pic of me checking it out:















How cool is that? I look kind of high on it's scent!

My birthday is 2 weeks today and the dreaded wedding is now in under 5 weeks. Mom seems to wake up regularly these days at 4am, tosses and turns and then goes down for a drink. I like to go with her so she has company, and I take the opportunity for a pee. By the way the Fedex man brought Mom and Dad a beautiful wedding gift from Luci and Raisin and their parents Kathy and Ed - that was so nice of them! I can't wait to go see them again and swim with Luci in her big swimming pool!

I'm in love with the summertime. Everyday after work, Mom and I head to the park where I play with about 15-20 other dogs off leash. I must remember to take my camera with me tomorrow, you will die of envy when you see me with my pals.

Oh shoot, gotta run, I hear Mom a-coming and I'm not supposed to be in here.

AGC

Miss Amelia Runs Amok!

Miss Amelia did a dastardly act yesterday. She escaped from her Dad and was considered lost and AWOL for 2 hours filling her family and neighbors with much angst. The jury is out on whether she fell in the yard's woodpile or hid there (perhaps to smoke a joint or plot a bonfire?). Either way, I am most relieved she was found and returned home. Miss Amelia you are a very naughty bitch!



You may be wondering how Tilly and Maggie's puppies are doing! They are now just over 3 weeks old, and they are looking a bit more like dogs than blind gerbils. Check them out. Tilly's are pictured left, and Maggie's right:



I'm so happy summer is here. Every evening now Mom or Dad takes me to the dog park where many dogs of all shapes and sizes (and smells) gather to play. I have made some new friends like Shadow the Chihuhua, Spunky the Jack Russel, Lola the American bulldog, Super Dog (I don't know what he is but I like his name), Tommy the Daschund and many others who I know by smell but not really by name.

Mom has been working on my 1st birthday party invitations! They are cool. More details to follow. Time to go watch House - I dig that nasty doctor!

AGC

Wire Fights Cougar and Wins!

I just got home from an awesome time in the Park with Mom. It was really hot out today, 82F, but there is this very caring French man who comes to the park, and he shlepped with him a bucket and 3 vats of water for us dogs! How considerate is that - especially 'cos Mom always forget to bring some for us. So he poured the water into the bucket, and all the dogs ran up to drink. But me, nah, drinking is for sissies, I stuck my whole head in and then my front paws and I started to dig with the intention of making the bucket bigger so I could swim in it. It didn't work, but I had fun trying and all the humans were laughing and marveling at my aquatic skills!

Speaking of skills, hats of to Eli the Wire in Washington state for saving her Daddy from a Cougar! That's a big ugly ferocious WILD cat! You HAVE to check out the video of Eli's remarkable bravery. Go to http://www.nwcn.com/ and scroll to the bottom news links "Bitten by a Cougar" or try clicking here.

Way to go Eli!

AGC

A Reminder from Axel G

Always take time to sniff the tulips!

AGC

PS Those are the tulips MOM planted in our little back yard. Not bad for someone who has never gardened in her life!

"Oh Lord, Please Don't Let Me Be So Misunderstood!"

So Mom has been complaining non stop how fast time is flying. How it's under 6 weeks to her wedding, blah blah.

So yesterday while she was at work, I decided to do her the ultimate in favors.

I killed her clock to stop the time.

Do you think she appreciated it?

Hell no.

Go figure!

I give up!

AGC

Guest BloggerPip, the Mighty Hunter - An Easter Story

(As related by his Mom Pat)

Late Saturday evening, actually Sunday morning, Pippin demanded to go out. He was absolutely insistent, adamant about going outside.
Perhaps he really has to pee, I thought, So I put his collar on and opened the door.

He sprang out like the devil was after him. Barking furiously, he ran off towards the woods. I heard a commotion, branches breaking, jaws snapping, a yelp, and a high pitched squeal. Abruptly, the air was still. I ran out to see what had happened. Quivering in excitement, Pippin stood over the inert body of a bunny.

Not just any bunny, but the Easter bunny! I scooped up the mighty hunter and ran back to the house. I tossed him in and yelled for Judy, telling her that I feared the Easter Bunny had been murdered by Pip.

I ran back out, now equipped with a flashlight.

Within 2 minutes, Judy was outside and inspected the lifeless bunny. She had a spray can in her hand. She shook the can and sprayed the rabbit.

I wanted to ask what she was doing, but she held her hand up, indicating that she wanted quiet.
Nothing happened.

Again, she shook the can and sprayed the rabbit. The nose twitched weakly. Judy aggressively sprayed the bunny, she emptied the entire can on the rabbit.

Suddenly the bunny leapt up off the grass, grabbed the empty basket and scampered off into woods.

"Judy, what did you do? What was in the can?" I asked.

Her response:

"Hare restorer."

HAPPY EASTER....AND TO ALL MY WIRY PALS - HANDS OFF THE EASTER BUNNY (AND ALL BUNNIES IN FACT...OTHER THAN HOT DOG BUNS).

AGC

Butter Thief

Tonight Mom and Dad were eating a delish meal of roast chicken and potatoes, and I sat there praying for a few tasty morsels. I always sit on Mom's side as she tends to drop stuff more readily than Dad. Anyway, after a few tasty pieces, Mom and Dad finished eating and cleared off most of the table. I'll let Mom continue from here:

So there were R and I cleaning up in the kitchen when we noticed that Axel had disappeared. Very strange, he never leaves when there is food to be had. R checked the basement. No Axel. I called for him up the stairs, no little face appeared on the landing to smile down at me. So I went upstairs to investigate...

And there stood Axel, in our bedroom with a guilty but delighted smirk on his face, and a bar of butter in his mouth. Clearly, we had left it on the table and the rascal had managed to jump up and grab it and run upstairs! When Axel saw me, he rushed under the bed, but being a fat boy, I was able to grab a leg and pull him out, seizing the bar of butter at the same time!

What a bummer - that's me Axel talking! I was looking forward to eating that butter, and was such a crafty dude the way I took it! Now all I have to chew is this old shoe of Mom's!



I had a very interesting day today. I went with Mom and Dad to visit Dad's 93 year-old grandfather who lives in an old people's home quite a long drive away. I'd never been to an old aged home before and at first I was quite scared of all these shriveled up people and their metal appendages - sticks and wheelie things. They were all very friendly and wanted to pet me. I tried to be friendly, but there were so many strange sights and smells, at times it was difficult. Later kids came to visit and I was allowed outside to play with them. I ran and jumped in the mulch and had a great time, and noone seemed to mind that I tore up the garden some.

Speaking of gardens, Mom planted some tulips yesterday and today I had fun burying one of my Milkbones in the muddy soil around them! I just have to figure out how to do it without getting a muddy nose!

Finally, happy Easter to my non Jewish pals out there...Mom and Dad had me sit through The 10 Commandments last night. Know what I noticed in between naps - no dogs in Egypt! When the Hebrews were freed from bondage, there were scenes of them leaving Egypt with cows, geese, sheep etc, but I didn't see a single dog! I notice stuff like that!

AGC

Totally Pooped!

Yesterday Mom and Dad took me to my consult at See Spot Stay doggy day care. When we arrived, all these little dogs were running around behind the reception desk. The lady in charge led me in and suddenly I was completely surrounded by these little lap dog type creatures like pugs, yorkies, maltese poodles and the like. They sized me up and sniffed my butt. Then Mom and Dad left and I didn't know what to think! I didn't think I'd be staying there! But it seems the consult is 3 hours so it gives them time to see how I socialize.

Well I spent most of the time in a large area with medium sized dogs. There must have been at least 30 dogs in the place, mostly barking and making a heck of a racket. There was also a play area for big dogs and I was happy to see some familiar faces like Daisy and Elvis, and a covered outside area too. It was pretty nice, I've just never played with so many dogs or had that many butts to sniff over such a long period!

Time passed fast, and suddenly there was Mom and Dad to take me home. I was sooo happy to see them, as by then I had a bit of a headache and I was tired. I didn't realize how tired until I got home and passed out on the cool floor - not even Mom eating a snack or Dad offering to play could rouse me from the floor. I was that pooped.

In my semi-coma, I heard Mom say she hoped I'd survive 4 straight days if I was so tired after 3 hours! Dad reassured her that I'd be fine. I'm not sure...I can't imagine getting much nap time there.

Later last night, I was lying on Mom's lap eating a dingo, when she stroked my back and let out a "what the f*&$!!??"
It seemed, embedded in my wiry fur, mom found a bloody incisor tooth - no doubt missing from one of the pups at doggy day care! Mom screeched for Dad who thought it was quite droll, "a dog must of lost it roughhousing with our Ax," he said. Mom was not impressed.

Oh and by the way, I passed the consult with flying colors. Just my luck. *sigh*

AGC

A Challenge from Pip

Well, got an email from Grandma in South Africa today asking me if I was taking a sabbatical! Sabbatical? I don't think so. It would be more apt to call it a "banned from my computer room because of wedding stuff" situation. And friends, it's just getting worse.

Then I get an email from my friend Pip and his Mom Pat in Troy, NY telling me I am no longer the king of the blogs! Well, that almost reduced me to tears, only we canines can't cry, not outwardly anyway. Then I just got pissed. Who dares to challenge my blog supremacy - and to think we were contemplating a little vacation to Upstate NY to visit those fiends! Pip insists that a silly little dog named Cricket has usurped me because his blog has streaming video. Oh ye who succumb to the trappings of technological innovation! Does Cricket have my humor? Does he belong to the king of the canine breeds? Does he write as well as I do? I think not. You be the judge - I'm so confident of my position on the blog hierarchy, that I'm even giving you the link to Cricket's website:
Click here.

Well the weather is glorious again! And just in time for the Passover holidays! A few days ago, Mom took me to the Lincoln Memorial area of the park where many dogs gather between 5 and 7 PM and we all play off leash and have a jolly good time. So we were hanging out, when Mom noticed that one of the dog owners had a RAT on her shoulder. And no, I do not mean a Chihuahua, I mean a real RAT! Mom made a joke that I was born to hunt and kill rats, and that they better be careful that I don't sniff it out. She then added, "Gee, I hope he isn't carrying the plague." And as it turns out, the rat's name is PLAGUE! And can you believe he and his canine brother, a small mixed breed dog, are great pals, they even play together! I mentioned to Mom that I may like a rat sibling, but she said she'd sooner get an emu. Whatever that is.

Blanche the cat from next door has been making herself comfortable in my yard! Nearly every day when I go out there, she is there, soaking up the sun. And she is such an unfriendly puss! I don't have anything against cats per se, so I always approach Blanche in a friendly spirit but she hisses and claws at me and chases me around my own yard! Luckily Mom was on my side in thinking this was a huge hutzpah, to be mistreated on one's own property by a cat owned by the man responsible for having me wear the evil collar! So she shooed him away with the rake and that was the end of Blanche's visits. Though I suspect she still makes poopies in my yard!

Last night there were yummy smells coming from our kitchen as Mom was baking a "Blitz Tart" - another South African confection. I was fascinated to watch them beat up the poor eggs until they were scared STIFF, and Dad helped Mom out with the metric conversions as it was a SA recipe. Boy it turned out great - picture two round cakes topped with merangue and cemented together with whipped cream. I sure hope I get a piece! Mom and Dad tease me about being a little fatso and eating too many snacks! What can I say, I do love my snacks, I'm Ax Snax after all.

Tomorrow I am going for my behavioural consult at the Doggy Day Care I will be going to over the dreaded wedding weekend. Apparently they have to make sure I'm sociable and friendly. God humans can be so silly. Maybe I'll play a trick on them and growl and bite so I get rejected and then Mom and Dad will be forced to include me in the wedding! Heh Heh.

AGC

Two Beautiful New Mamas

I think the Big Guy in charge of the world has lost his marbles. On the weekend it was warm and lovely. Yesterday it poured rain all day. And today, it snowed while the sun was shining! What next, frogs falling from the sky just in time for Passover? (For my non Jewish pals, the Passover story tells of 10 plagues wrought on the Egyptians including bloody water, pestilence, frogs, boils, hail etc...no pleasant plagues!).

Passover begins next week - hopefully I won't have to eat matzah! Mom's family do Passover very seriously, they clean, they change all their dishes and only eat Kosher for Passover food. But Mom isn't fond of Passover, so all she does is buy ONE box of matzah and a jar of horseradish. And maybe a jar of gefilte fish for Dad - she won't touch the stuff. She only eats her mom's gefilte fish but used to flee the house while it was cooking - the smell, she tells me, is AWFUL.

Anyway, the best part of Passover is that it means time off work! Mom works for a Jewish organization, so 5 days NO work! Poor Dad, no such luck!

Well there is brilliant news - both Tilly (right) in the UK and Maggie (left) in the US gave birth to 4 puppies each on Sunday, within a few hours of each other. I can't believe how teensy weensy the pups are, or that I was once that size! Both mommies look radient, and their human Mom's are really enjoying the experience too -- well except maybe Tilly's Mom - she is on poop patrol because Tilly is a lady and won't eat her babies poop like she is supposed to. Boy am I glad I'm a boy! Maggie on the other hand, apparently LOVES eating poop, all poop no matter whose behind it emanates from. Yuck.



Other great news is that Rusty the gentlemanly senior wire has found a home with the saintly Pam and her smooth boys. Poor Rusty was abandoned and ended up in a shelter. As he's an old guy, he ran the risk of a horrible end, but thank goodness there are beautiful people like Pam around to rescue foxies looking for a new start.



And more congratulations to our wiry friend Pip who has a new job according to his Mom Pat: "Pippin has become the Family Planning Advocate of the bird world. It appears that robins, cardinals, doves and other birds are NOT allowed to have mating rituals on the lawn. As soon as Pippin hears or sees birds bouncing or chirping, he CHARGES at them them and chases them away. This goes on for hours on end."

Keep up the noble work Pip. At least you don't kill them, unlike our pal Mackie who it seems is not only a sock eater, but also a baby bunny murderer! He killed three! I think I'll have to inform John Walsh - there is a serial bunny and squirrel killer on the loose in Maryland! Mackie!!!!

I'm a pacifist by nature, I haven't killed anything except a few squeaker balls and Mom's daffodils (not my fault she weeded the yard and left me no greenery but the daffs to pee on!).

AGC

Spring in Philly

This was my special day:
I lay in bed in the sunshine with my Dad:



Mom, Dad and I went to the park to enjoy the weather and meet new friends: That is Caesar the doberman and I think a dog, but it could have been a rat. He was fearless, ran to Caesar and I like he was one of the boys!




Spring was all around us - look at the blossoms everywhere in the park and on our street:



I love spring!

I got a new bone today and I spent much of the afternoon looking for a good hiding place. Mom was weeding in the garden, so I tried to bury it in her bag of weeds and then in the soil. I then dug it up and buried it in the dryer which was full of sweet-smelling clothes! Not sure Mom was too pleased about that!

AGC

What a day!

Today I came when called.
I never pulled on my leash.
I remained spotlessly clean after my run in the park.
I ate NO condoms or anything else for that matter.
I didn't beg.
I didn't jump up on Mom or Dad while they were eating their pizza.
I never stole anyone's ball at the dogrun.
I ignored all paper napkins, toiletpaper etc - didn't feel like ripping them.
I ate my treats over my bowl. I did not bury them in the sofa.
I didn't bark despite not having my bark collar on.

APRIL FOOLS!!!!

AGC

Spring has Sprung!

Nothing like being cooped up all day in the house while Mom and Dad are at work, on a beautiful spring day, to get me worked up! I want to be free and outside, running in the park, playing with my pals. I mean I like sleeping. I like sitting in the window. But when the weather is beautiful I sure wish Mom and Dad didn't have to work!

Mom came home from New York late Tuesday, I was pretty happy to see her, but the smell of MacDonald's fries in her purse distracted me from showing my real glee in having her home again. She bought them home for me!! We ate them outside in our little yard amongst the daffodils which are remarkedly still alive. We then bonded over a brilliant walk in the park, off leash. We ran and played. The only downer with the nice weather is that everyone and his uncle comes to the park and they make a lot of mess (I don't mind the leftovers though) and so much noise. Yesterday afternoon two guys were sitting and playing the drums...Mom loved it, it reminds her of home, that African beat...but it gave me a headache!

Yesterday Mom and I went out for over an hour! I played with a new dog friend called Dakota, a ridgeback obsessed with his slobbery ball (which I stole a few times so he'd chase me) and LeeLo, the fox-like dog. It was such a riot!

Mom keeps telling me about her shower that was last Sunday and how many gift boxes will be coming home this weekend (she couldn't take them to NY with her!) and for me to "keep that long snout of yours out of mischief and away from the gifts!" I don't understand why Mom would ever take a shower in public and then get gifts for her performance? But I'm a dog, I don't pretend to understand human idiocyncracies!

Two of my girlfriends have been acting strangely. My dear Miss Amelia has taken to wearing a bonnet - she looks so much like Laura Ingells in that get up, that it is quite eerie!



And then, Asta Blu has gone quite bonkers with helping her Mom with her spring cleaning. She got so carried away with her green feather duster, that her bed looks like it was attacked by a big green bird!



I'm not personally into cleaning, I'm more into causing havoc, mayhem and much mess! Heh heh.

AGC

PS That blasted neighbor Rex complained to Dad that I bark all day, so looks like I will be wearing that evil collar during the day when Mom and Dad are at work. HELP!
I think he is being silly. Just 2 days ago, burglars tried to break in to the house across from ours, through their FRONT window which I can see perfectly from my perch! I saw the whole thing and barked my head off, and they ran away (ok, after the burglar alarm also went off...and the police arrived, but I bet it was seeing my scary visage in the window that made them run away!!)

WAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!

I MISS MY MOMMY!!!!!!!!

AGC

Wedding Jealousy

Damn it, I admit it. I'm getting jealous of this wedding stuff. It sure is taking a lot of Mom's attention away from ME! There was a lot of activity this morning. This lady arrived with a suitcase (I thought she was moving in) full of make up and hair stuff. She was here to practice doing Mom's hair and make up for the wedding. I of course was barred from the wedding room (so what else is new?) and they were in there quite a long time. When they were done I didn't recognize my Mom as she never wears make up or curls her hair! Later, when they left, I snuck into the wedding room, grabbed Mom's veil and well (blushing) tried to imagine what I would look like if I was a bride!



I know, I look silly with my long snout and Mom's red hair. But I just had to see for myself!

Mom took me to the dogrun yesterday for TWO hours. It was warmer and dusty in the dog run and I had many friends to play with. I liked this bulldog puppy called Vito and we rough-housed for some time until Mom put me in a time out 'cos I was latching on to Vito's fat cheeks. He didn't seem to mind, he didn't protest...but his owner looked worried. The other people at the park told us it was only play and to let me go. I love people who understand us. When I got home I was filthy, so Mom and Dad put me straight into the bath. I didn't really mind.

This evening Mom took me for a walk, and for the second time in as many days, she stepped in dog poop. Heh heh. She was mad, had to take matches and scrape it out the ridges of her shoe. She went on a rant about idiots who didn't pick up their dog's poop! And speaking of poop, Miss Amelia sent me this funny photo - now, now democrats, don't get your tits in a tangle, it's only a joke! We wires have a great sense of humor as do all dogs - check out these dogs laughing their heads off (thanks to Billie for sending the link). I think Clinton looks good with a mustache!



I have a new pal to introduce. Her name is Asta Blu, she is 3-months old. She lives in Kansas with her Mom Junie, Dad and 4 human siblings from age 12-19. Asta sure loves her family. Boy, she's a doll!



Mom is off to NYC tomorrow for some work thing and she'll only be home on Tuesday night. I'm sure going to miss her, but I'm happy enough with Dad here with me. He is my hero. I do sometimes wish I had a sibling like my pals Butchy and Snickers in Iowa. They sure love eachother, look at the two of them:



Not sure I'll be able to infiltrate the wedding room while she's a way, I have a feeling she'll be locking the door and taking the key with her!

AGC

Weird Wedding Rituals

Weird things are happening at home. Last night I was sitting with Mom in the Wedding room (that's what I call my former computer room) when she suddenly opened a box and out came this long net thing, and Mom proceeded to put it on top of her head. She looked like a bizarre lampshade that was designed to ward off flying insects. She looked at herself in the mirror and smiled and sang a tune that went "here comes the bride...". I think she's lost her marbles. I tried to jump as I high as I could to grab the net thing and yank it off her head so I could see her face again. Mom threw a fit, yelled at me and put the thing back in its box.

What a relief.

I have a new trick. It's called the steal and skulk (as opposed to the switch and bait). This is how it goes. I sneak into Mom and Dad's room and steal something I know I'm not supposed to steal like Dad's good sneaker or Mom's new slippers. I then creep away as stealthily as I can, head low but watching for Mom and Dad out of the corner of my eye. All the time I say to myself in my inside voice, "don't look at me now, I"m invisible, I'm not really stealing anything..." Most of the time I succeed and then race off with my prize, but sometimes Mom and Dad just laugh and declare, "we can see you silly boy! That's not yours, now give it back!"

They say spring is here but it's still frigging cold. However, the daffodils have sprung up in our tiny yard, and every evening Mom drags me outside to marvel at their beauty. Mom is not renowned for her gardening skills - Grandma Toby planted those before my time. They smell nice and I do like to pee on them...but I try not to 'cos I know they lift Mom's spirits and hopes that Spring will truly arrive one day SOON.

Well, got to run, my time is limited...I don't even have time to post pics, sorry!

AGC

Evil Collar

Well my new collar arrived on the weekend. And it is evil and possessed. I loathe it. It is black and has a little box attached, and attached to that are these two pointy probes that face into my neck, so when the collar is on me, I can feel those wretched little things digging into my neck. So they put it on me on Friday night after I spent some time barking at the passing foot traffic. When I opened my mouth to bark again, I felt this tremendous surge go through my little wiry body, and I think I jumped a foot off the ground and let out an all mighty screech!

What the $%#@?

Mom buried her head in the couch and said quote, "I can't bear it." Dad didn't look too happy either, but said stoically that we didn't have a choice since Rex the neighbor had complained. I took a while to recover from my ordeal, and spent the next 15 minutes buried in Mom's lap. I
didn't bark again.

Mom and Dad only put the evil collar on when I start barking, and I think I have only been shocked about 3 times in all. I'm not stupid - I know my barking causes the horrid reaction, so when that thing is round my neck, I will only growl very menacingly!

On Saturday, perhaps out of some guilt, Mom and Dad also went to Petco and came home with 5 big rawhide bones for me, and a new carton of Dingos and a big box of MilkBones. Of course I only get the treats meted out gradually, but Dad has a new trick of leaving a few Milkbones for me on a shelf I can reach, and he tells me to help myself when I feel like a snack. The truth is they bought the mixed flavor assortment, and I prefer the regular ones...the green vegie flavored ones in particular are YUCK! I won't eat those!

So you'll be happy to hear that I pooped out that condom I swallowed on Friday when on a walk in the park with Mom. I was at the dog park on Sunday when out it came. Mom was so pleased, she pointed to me and said loudly to the other dog owners, "Look, my dog is pooping out a condom." To say the crowd looked horrified is quite the understatement. They probably think my parents are sexual degenerates who leave their condoms around the house! The weird thing was, I have not ceased to poop condoms the last few days. Dad and Mom are both amazed and mystified as they thought I'd only eaten one. I eat so much crap on my walks, I truly can't
recall how many I ate...but they just keep coming out my bum!

In about 3 weeks is another Jewish holiday. Again the enemies of the Jews, this time the Egyptians, tried to kill them but did not
succeed, thanks to G-d splitting the Red Sea to let them escape. Cool trick huh? Anyway, Mom has decided to clean the kitchen in honor of the festival where you are supposed to dispose of anything that contains
yeast...but really is just about everything the Rabbis decide constitutes what is called chametz. Mom thinks it is a lot of nonsense but still likes to clean. Over in WA, my cute bitch friend Amelia has been supervising as her Dad Phillip does his spring cleaning. Check her out testing the cleanliness of their oven!

And speaking of Miss Amelia, Mom just got home to find her very first wedding gift waiting by the door...6 beautiful wine glasses given by, you guessed, the amazing and generous and thoughtful Savage family - Phillip, Chris and the girls. Mom and Dad were both deeply touched. As they should be! Now I want to know this - where is my present? Just kidding...

AGC

Patrick Shmatrick!

I'm a little miffed today. Who the heck is St. Patrick I'd like to know. Whoever he is, he thinks he's very important because all I hear today is "Happy St. Patricks Day!" I even got a few cards from my pals Winston and Libby:



Well whoever St. Patrick is, will somebody who knows him, tell him that today is Axel G Chocholoza's 10 month birthday! Surely my birthday is far more significant than this Patrick bloke! Happy Birthday to Me! Boy, on May 17 I'll be one year old! Mom and Dad have been talking about having a birthday party for me in the park with all my friends. I can't wait!

Yesterday I showed you the ultrasounds taken of Momma-to-be Maggie. Well now that we've seen what's going on inside the gal, I wanted you to see what she looks like on the outside. She is a beautiful bitch, just glowing in her pregnant state, just look at her little shaved belly! Maggie is due in early April.



Also, remember my friend Tilly - that relentless rat-chasing gal from the UK. She got knocked up too! Seems 'tis the season to go forth and multiply. And when we're talking more wires - what could be better for this world of ours that is full of seriousness and malcontent? Life is always merrier with a fox terrier. Or two or three or four...

Here is a photo of Tilly in her wild and crazy virginal days after a rat chase (left) and Tilly today, preggies and more relaxed (although her Mom did tell me she's been scaling high walls! Tilly!!! Not in your pregnant state dahling!).



Wow, I am so lucky, I have so many friends. And today I have another one to introduce. His name is Ozzy - I think he's only about 4 months old! He lives in Poughkeepsie NY with his mom, dad & 2 grandmas. He loves going for walks in the park, playing fetch with his Dad and making frequent trips to Petco for treats. I love the long hairs on his face - but he looks a wee bit young for a comb over!



Finally, I have to share this little news snippet with you. When I read it, my reaction was "DUH!"

Bomb dog's alert delays NCAA game

A San Diego arena was evacuated for about two hours on Thursday, delaying a first-round game in the hugely popular national college basketball championship, after a hot dog cart attracted the attention of a bomb-sniffing dog.

What dog in his right mind, would NOT be attracted to the smells wafting from a hot dog cart???!!!

AGC

Birth to Billboards

Once upon a time, I was a tiny tiny little guy living in my Mommy's womb. Note I do not say tummy...I don't know why human parents fib their children by telling them they were residents of their stomachs! Gross, imagine swimming around in all that food! Anyway, I am excited to report that my pal Maggie is pregnant! She got knocked up the little minx! heh heh. Wonder who the lucky dude was? So anyway, first she went to a silly vet who told her Mommy Billie that she wasn't pregnant! But a second vet did some test called an ultrasound - I think this means he whispered into Maggie's ear, and 5 pups answered, "Yes, we're here!" And he took the photos to prove it! I looked hard at these photos, but I'm not sure where the pups are - maybe they're playing hide and seek, or perhaps they are so small, you need to have super vision (the visual equivalent of ultra sound) to see them! Can you spot them?



Good luck Momma-to-be Maggie. I'm sure me and all my fans can't wait to see your pups!

I have lately acquired a new nickname, "Sir Axel of Trouble". I'm not sure I like it either. Anyway, so I'm not sure how my new girlfriend feels about her name, Asta Blu Livewyre Naughty Naughty. But they just call her Naughty. I mean Asta. She is only 12 weeks old and is part of a big family - Mom Junie, Dad and 4 human siblings! I remember when I was that big, *sigh*.



So no sign yet of the mailman and my new collar! I'm rather sick of this old blue one around my neck, it's boring. I'm a famous boy, I think I deserve a high quality, spiffy-looking collar that befits my status!

Yesterday Mom came home from work, rather disappointed to see that Dad had not beaten her to it. Which translates as Mom has the honor of taking me for my evening walk. I could tell she wasn't into it, but once we got out in the howling cold wind, we had a blast! There were no friends about - Mom was muttering that she was the only madwoman to be out in that weather - so we had the whole run of the park to ourselves! Mom let me off leash, and I chased some red-breasted birds and ran and ran. Mom had her whistle on her, so she kept reminding me to come back. And I did! But then I spotted one of those rubbery chewy things on the ground - a delicious treat! Just like chewing gum. Mom's hair stood straight up as she spied me pick it up...followed by, "oh please Ax, drop it, drop it, that's yucky!" Drop it? Are you crazy? No way! I managed to avoid Mom's clutches and swallowed it. Mom looked about to have a thrombosis. I don't really understand why. I mean I keep seeing posters all over telling humans that these things keep them safe...so where is the harm in us eating them?

Later Mom was relating the story of my adventure to Dad and she threatened to put up billboards all over the park saying, "If you must screw in the park, take your dirty condoms with you!".

Personally, if I was to post a billboard in the park it would read, "Please leave all your chicken bones, leftovers, condoms and tissues on the ground so that our canine friends can have an extra special time in the park."

Ok, I didn't say it was a small billboard, did I?

AGC

Happy Purim Everyone

Today is the Jewish Festival of Purim when the Jews of Persia (now modern day Iran) were saved from destruction (it was the earliest attempt at a Genocide - the destruction of a genus, a people). During the time of King Ahasuerus, one of his ministers, Haman, sought to destroy the Jews in revenge for being snubbed by the Jew Mordecai, who refused to bow down to him. With the king's authority, he draws lots (purim) to determine the fateful day, which falls on the 13th of the month of Adar in the Jewish calendar. Learning of this decree, Mordecai approaches the new queen, his cousin Esther, to intercede with the king. Esther, who has not revealed her Judaism publicly, fasts for three days in preparation for this task. At a banquet for the king and Haman, she denounces the evil Haman, who is eventually hanged.

Anyway, like all Jewish festivals, Mom says you can summerize it in a few words:
They tried to destroy us, we won, let's eat.

I especially like that last part, and I still have high hopes that Mom will let me celebrate Purim by sharing a hamantashen (pictured top right), which is a delicious triangular cookie filled with jelly. I am by contrast hoping she won't make me fulfil the other part of Purim which is dressing up in costume. I hope she forgot where she put my cow costume that I wore on Halloween. Mom told me she misses being in Israel on Purim where it is one long day of festivity, dressing up, and well, drinking. Can you believe you are obligated to get drunk on Purim so you don't know the difference between Haman and Mordechai? Thankfully Mom and Dad aren't drinkers... I don't think could cope with that!

Yesterday I was out in my yard with Dad, enjoying the warm weather and contemplating digging up the new bulbs that were blooming, when Rex the neighbor stopped over and chatted with Dad over our shared fence. I was astounded to hear him complain that I bark too much. Moi? How bizarre. I only bark at noises - dogs, car doors slamming, people chatting outside MY window, dogs barking, and Rex's own cat who loves to tease me by sitting right in front of my window. So I bark a bit, does it really hurt anyone?

To my shock and awe, Dad didn't even try to defend me - he readily admitted that I was driving THEM nuts too. He apologized. And then Mom came out and she practically grovelled with apology! I'm not too impressed. Anyway, to keep them from taking any dire action - like crating me again - I was a good boy and kept quiet all night. It obviously paid off, my clever strategy, as this morning I overheard Mom telling Dad she'd bought me a new collar online, called an anti-bark collar. Not sure what that means, but I think it means I get it as a reward for NOT barking! So now I'll be looking out the window for the mailman to bring my new collar! Woohoo! Almost makes me want to bark! Heh heh.

AGC