Thursday, September 08, 2005

A Tail Wagging Ending

The AKC just completed an interesting survey of dog and non-dog owners.
What I find interesting is that one of the "survey findings revealed that owners of one dog were more likely to describe themselves as "happy" as opposed to non-dog owners (43 percent vs. 38 percent), yet those "sans pooch" say they are more organized (19 percent vs. 14 percent of dog owners). Dog owners were more likely to call themselves "laid back" than those without pups (26 percent vs. 17 percent)."

Of course dog owners are happy, disorganized people! We make them laugh and we are very au fait at creating disorder in their households! Mom and Dad are prime examples - they are constantly convulsing in giggles at my antics, and our house is an almightly mess. Though in my own defense, I suspect they weren't that organized or neat to begin with!

Since posting my dashing new haircut photos, I have received emails from lovesick bitches pining after me.

"Dear Axel, Will you be my new boyfriend?" writes Libby in Minnesota, "I think we'd make a cute couple. I am sending you my picture showing me running in the yard, I love to run."

I wrote back:
Take a number bitch. But you are rather cute - I'm just not into long distance relationships.

A lot closer than Minnesota is Camden, NJ - and that's where Venus (3) and Max (10) live with their owner Bill Z. Venus is kind of cute - if you like your women hairy.

But hey bitches, there is good news out there. I am not the only stud muffin out there. All wire males are adonises! For example, check out Herman who is owned by Carol and recently had to have his one ear glued down - what the heck is up with that?! And next to Herman (right) is Gabriel (8) with all his manhood visible to the world. He lives with his sister, Angel (9) pictured underneath, all curled up in a ball. They live in South Carolina, and have a pool! (I'm having an envy attack!)

I also want to introduce two new friends, Terri and Chewy, who are both 5 years old and live in Austin, Texas. Their mom Jill tells me that their favorite passion is to hunt for possums and birds. Monday night Terri killed a small possum in their backyard! Wow. Last summer they killed 5 birds! Terri also likes to "kill" her stuffed toys that no longer have squeakers or stuffing in them.

Holy crap, the two of them sound natural born killers. I bet they are members of the NRA. I haven't killed anything yet, my toys still all have their squeakers, and I haven't even chased a bird. What's wrong with me Mom?
To look at Chewy and Terri in their bath robes, you'd never think that beneath their demure appearances lurk dangerous killers! (Where can I get one of those robes?)

And lastly, my two Panamanian friends Olaf and Lulu just sent me a new photo of the two of them in their mom's garden, where they are only allowed to roam under close supervision - clearly evident in the fact that the flowers are still intact!

I was rather dismayed by the headline in today's Daily News - it read "38 EVACUEES, 1 DOG ARRIVE IN PHILLY" One dog? A doberman no less. I'm a tad disappointed, I was looking forward to meeting some good Southern hounds and chaperone them to Philly's greatest dogparks. Oh well...

And lastly - I am thrilled to be able to provide you with a happy follow up to the sad Katrina story I related on Sept. 4 about Valerie Bennet - who you will recall offered her rescuer her wedding rings if only she could take her 4 dogs with her. But her request was refused. Well, today there was news of at least one happy reunion:

Hurricane Katrina refugee Valerie Bennett was visibly delighted to be see her dog, Lady, after they were reunited at Emory Hospital in Atlanta. She and her husband, Lorne, had to leave behind four of their pets when Lorne, a liver transplant patient, had to be evacuated.
I love happy endings!