Monday, January 30, 2006

Looking for Love in the Year of the Dog

I wanted to get to the computer earlier, but Mom has been hogging the machine all evening, and during the day I was pooped 'cos I had to bark all night! It gets tiring! Also, I was still recovering from my playdate with Luci, and then Sunday evening we went to Gran and Gramps for dinner. Let me rephrase: Mom and Dad got dinner. All I got were a few lousy Milkbones and the odd carrot. And when I didn't show much interest in either, they look at me as if to say, "Axel - why on earth don't you eat your carrots and milkbones?" Um, let me see if I can explain this succinctly. I get to eat carrots and Milkbones - and you get meatballs? Would you want to trade?

I didn't think so.

And then they have the temerity to gorge on chocolate cake, and I have to hear that tiresome bull about chocolate being toxic for dogs. If that ain't the biggest bobba meise (Yiddish for Old Wives Tale - for a complete Yiddish glossary you can click here) I ever heard!** Humans will make up anything to curtail our hedonistic pleasures. (Do I have to remind you that I had my balls removed recently?!)

Despite my diminished manhood, the bitches are still crazy for me. Miss Amelia sent me this photo of herself in an early bid to snag me as her Valentine...

Some of my wiry friends have their sights set cross-species! I mean doesn't it look like Moira over here is all starry eyed for this goat! Not that there is anything wrong with loving a goat mind you, some of my best friends are goats...(Ok, so I'm lying...but if I ever had the privilege of meeting one, I'm sure we'd be pals!)

Other wiry friends of mine, seek out love in strange places! Pippin (left) and Buddy Wiser (right) seem to think that their lovers reside underground and need to be dug out of their hiding places. Could this be another cross-species affair? This time with moles? Those horrid little blind black things? Horrors!

And then there are those Wires who only dream of finding the love of their life. Alexandra (left) is so intent on finding her love, she sleepwalks while doing it. My poor Miss Amelia (who is Alexandra's daughter) - it must be frightening seeing your Mother transmogrify into a Zombie! And then there is dear old Boozle (right), who looks snug and happy as he dreams about his dream wiry gal.

By the way, I just remembered that I forgot to wish all my friends a Happy Year of the Dog which began on Sunday! The Chinese are an odd people - on the one hand they are at the forefront of the horrible dog fur trade, and on the other, they honor us by naming the year after our species. Frankly, I don't get it.

By the way, for all you wires looking for love in other species - I read here that, "The most compatible match for a Dog is the Tiger or the Horse."
Sorry. No goats or moles!


** Note: Chocolate is the third most common cause of poisoning in dogs.
Axel is talking out of that orifice on his body that emits steaming poopy logs.

(Yes, I hacked the blog again. Someone has to curb Axel's penchant for exaggeration and downright lies!)