Sunday, August 27, 2006

Of Poses, Peppers and Purses

I was pretty mad at Mom for posting that ridiculous picture of my face close up. I look like a silly dog. So this morning, I dragged Mom out to our tiny backyard, and made her take some new, and more flattering photos of me. So I present to you, Axel G Chocholoza, handsome male wire fox terrier, in three poses:

Even if I say so myself, I think I look quite divine in that photo. I think it would be perfect for an oil painting or a quilt. Mom has a pal who makes beautiful quilt paintings of animals...I'd like to be immortalized like that! Ok,Ok, here are the other two shots:

I bet you think our backyard looks like a jungle! But if you look a little closer, you will see wonderful food growing there. Unfortunately, it is not the type of food I care for, I wish Milkbones or Dingos grew on trees! But we have green peppers (which Mom planted and boy is she proud of them, she checks them out every day and says she'd like to mail one to her Dad in South Africa 'cos he LOVES green peppers. Mom bought them at a Church fundraiser down the road and didn't think for a minute peppers would ever grow!) and grapes (the vine actually belongs to my nemisis Rex, but lucky for us they grow over our side of the wall too).

Today I went with Mom and Dad to the old folks home to visit Dad's grandpa. Those wheelchairs freak me out a bit, so I had a bit of a barkfest at first. The old people all love me. One old geezer asked Mom what kind of dog I am. So Mom said, loudly, "He's a wire fox terrier!" So the guy said, "Oh, I lived in Hawaii once, but I never saw one of these Hawaii fox terriers there!" I thought I saw Mom bite her tongue in an effort not to laugh... The highlight of my visit was eating a whole scoop of vanilla ice-cream! Yum!

Finally, I saw this story online, and frankly it pissed me off!
"Imported from the United States, these colourful and stylish "doggie bags" enable devoted dog owners to carry their puppies and little pooches wherever they go. " says the article.

I mean just look at that poor animal - does he look comfortable hanging from his Mom's waist like a cellphone? He looks like he's yelling, "Get me outta this darn thing!"
Imagine bopping up and down while suspended like that? I really hope that pup vomits down his Mom's shorts into her ass crack! That woman should be cited for cruelty to animals!

Thankfully, these are aimed at dogs who are under 12 lbs so don't expect to see any Wires or Smooths in this $100 contraption. Not that fox terrier owners would ever contemplate doing that to their furkids. Fox terrier owners are the smartest people about, trust me. Me thinks we ought to start a grassroots movement to stop companies from turning their pets into fashion statements. A "PuppyPurse" - Geez, what is this world coming to?