Thursday, February 02, 2006

It's All in the Timing

Well it seems that I really started something with the "Battle of the Bitches". As if to prove the Steeler's predominance, Daisy went beserk and sent me these pics of her in various Steeler's gear, in front of the TV and on her Steeler's dogbed. When Mom was perusing the pics, she sighed thankfully that the Eagles had had such an abominable season this year! At least she saved money on merchandise for me!

Speaking of bitches, I'm not sure Luci gives a shit about the Superbowl, she is more concerned about her good looks. A few days ago she got groomed. How lucky is she, her groomer lady comes to her HOUSE, bathes her and clips her. No horrid visits to the groomers amongst all the riff raff of the canine world. Doesn't she look cute?

I read a revolting article today in the New York Times about Colombian drug smugglers who sewed pouches of heroin into the belly's of innocent golden retriever puppies hoping to ship them to the USA and thus get the drugs through customs. What kind of sick, evil people would do this to a bunch of sweet little puppies? Thankfully the authorities busted the ring and saved all but 3 of the pups who died from infection to their stomach wounds. Reminds me of Mengele experiments at Auschwitz when he would sew live animals into human stomachs to see how quickly they would be eaten alive from the inside...

Ok, this is getting too heavy. I just can't help it, stuff like that shakes me to my wiry core!

By the way, today is Groundhog Day. I tried to Google it, but I still can't fully comprehend what it is all about. How could a silly creature that looks like a rat escapee from an obesity clinic tell how close Spring is? I've never heard of gifted vermin? And what a name he has, I'm glad I can't talk, 'cos I sure as hell would not be able to pronounce Punxsutawney Phil. Only Phil I can handle is Dr. Phil or Amelia's daddy Phillip!

Mom sat me down and told me that I was to be a good boy for a few hours every evening because she was going to finally sit down and start to write her "book". I gave her a vacant stare as she explained that her dream was to write a book, be "discovered" and featured on Oprah. It was one of those awkward moments really, where I wish I could have spoken or at least laughed out loud! Mom has wanted to write her book for about 15 years, and now 4 months from her wedding, she tells me in earnest that NOW she is going to write it. Now that is what I call GREAT timing! All she'll tell me about the secret project (well secret no more since I just blogged it to my million fans) is the title: Confessions of a Human Toothpick (in the midst of a Revolution).

Oh and speaking of toothpicks, my Grandad Abe in SA will be pleased to hear that both Mom and I floss our teeth every night! Mom does hers first and then she stretches the floss over my mouth and moves it between my teeth. It tickles, but I love the fresh minty taste!