The Eve of the Mighty Bowl

Bzzzzz Bzzzz - I am a Wire on a Buzz my friends! I'm a Wire on Fire. A Dog in a Fog. A Manic Caninic. I exceeded all bounds of naughtiness today. I managed to open Mom's purse when she was napping and boy did I hit the jackpot! A chocolate caramel pecan brownie! Just lying there in plastic casing with my name written all over it. After I polished that off, I ate Mom's lipstick and half her black eyeliner - but their taste paled in comparison to the brownie.

Mom had a cadenza when she came downstairs. I've never heard her yell like that before. I had to take cover under the table - she was that postal! By that time, the brownie was in my tum and the sugar buzz had begun, so although I wanted to be good, I just couldn't be! Suffice as to say (I'll spare you all the Mommy Dearest moments), I was bad and Mom was MAD!

Poor deluded Mom thought a walk would calm me down. Well, I was taking a poop when the turd got stuck...so Mom in all her goodness, kneeled down, hand in poop bag to help extricate the poop from my bum. I don't dig having a hand near my rear end, so I bolted, forgetting Mom was tethered to me. She kind of landed on her belly, in the mud, scraped knees and all. It's a good thing we dogs laugh internally 'cos Mom was now livid - the accumulation of the days events I guess. I've never seen her so glad to see Dad when he walked through the door. I believe she said, "Here, take him, or I'm going to stangle the bugger."

Anyway, on to more imporant things, tomorrow is the Superbowl. As predicted, Daisy did offer a comeback to Alexandra's awesome display of SeaHawk fandom. Here she is decked out head to paw in Steeler gear:

Nice try Daisy!

But the ever clever Savage gals, Alexandra and Miss Amelia, have recruited CoCo, son of Pat, to their pro SeaHawks team. The lengths these girls will go! Check out CoCo's Seahawk hat and jumper! The hat makes you look a bit dorkish mate...CoCo wrote to me that, "We have been invited to a Super Bowl overnight party. I'm pretty excited as I will get to play with my brother Jake. We have to get busy now and make him a jumper to wear. I'm also bringing the Bloody Mary's whatever that is." A party! Lucky you dude - any bitches invited? Could Bloody Mary be a bitch? She doesn't sound too attractive - much as I dig the reek of a bitch on heat, I think I'd pass on this one. Why don't you invite Alexandra and Miss Amelia instead?



So I know...you're all waiting for my prediction. My prediction, alas, is that if I don't back the SeaHawks, Miss Amelia will rip my heart out with those talons of hers. I know, I sound like a bitch-whipped wuss...but what can a guy do? Miss Amelia's prediction is SeaHawks 27; Steelers 20. I'll go one better. SeaHawks 36; Steelers -15.

Ok, I can't type anymore, this buzz is killing me. I gotta run downstairs and cause more havoc! Good luck everyone - May the best team win.
Miss Amelia's team that is.

AGC

An Expensive Bath

Boy, the battle of the bitches is reaching fever pitch! Just when we thought Daisy had proven her ardor and belief in the Steelers, along comes Alexandra with this piece of fandom:


I have to wonder how she got up there, I suspect Daddy Phillip threw her on top of the church sign in a Seahawk cheer! Here dear readers we see the epitome of America in the flesh: Sports and Religion - the fuel that drives the nation. Let's face it, with the current fuel prices, what else is going to do the job?

I wonder what counterstrike Daisy will engineer. Hmm, perhaps herself donned in a Papal Steelers robe? Daisy standing in Mecca in full Steelers regalia. (Maybe not, I'd hate her to get crushed in one of those Hajjs). Drape the Western Wall in a Steeler's Dirty Towel (bordering on sacreligious!) ?She has but one day to come up with her rebuttal, or I fear the Seahawks with Alexandra and Miss Amelia cheering them on, might just take the Bowl!

Speaking of Bowls - I had a request from Mackie to add another tasty treat to my SuperBowl Extra Large - a few chewable socks. You got it buddy! And I know you never asked, but because I dig you and your blog - I'm even going to throw in a dead squirrel, a real stinky one like the one your Dad confiscated last year. I'm such a generous fella, that I'm even going to share my Bowl with you!


I have a new friend to introduce who cares more for golf than for football, at least that is what he tells me. "My name's Bogie because we live on a golf course in NW Illinois." Not sure I get the connection. I think Golf would be second on my most boring sport list after football. Grown men whacking defenseless balls into sand and water and holes? And all that walking and shlepping in between. And they call it a sport?

Anyway, Bogie is 6 months old, and also had his own balls whacked off recently. He also had his first "stripping" session. Poor guy, stripping can be a bit painful, but I love it when Mom rakes me with the stripping tool and pulls out bundles of my hair (and then I try to eat it!) Welcome aboard Bogie man! The pic on the left is Bogie post strip, and on the right, Bogie as a wee pup.



I can hear Mom shaking the box of matches - that is my cue to run down stairs and partake in the lighting of the shabbat candles. But before I go, I wanted to tell you Mom got me washed professionally today 'cos this morning I rolled in mud, and Mom couldn't face washing me alone - so off I went rather begrudgingly. I came out smelling glorious and looking so wonderful, some lady mistook me for a SCOTTISH terrier. She must have been blind of loony! Mom laughed right in her face! That was after wincing at the grooming bill - $36 for a wash! Mom pays less for her own wash AND haircut. I have a feeling I won't be going back there again. Heh heh.

AGC

It's All in the Timing

Well it seems that I really started something with the "Battle of the Bitches". As if to prove the Steeler's predominance, Daisy went beserk and sent me these pics of her in various Steeler's gear, in front of the TV and on her Steeler's dogbed. When Mom was perusing the pics, she sighed thankfully that the Eagles had had such an abominable season this year! At least she saved money on merchandise for me!



Speaking of bitches, I'm not sure Luci gives a shit about the Superbowl, she is more concerned about her good looks. A few days ago she got groomed. How lucky is she, her groomer lady comes to her HOUSE, bathes her and clips her. No horrid visits to the groomers amongst all the riff raff of the canine world. Doesn't she look cute?



I read a revolting article today in the New York Times about Colombian drug smugglers who sewed pouches of heroin into the belly's of innocent golden retriever puppies hoping to ship them to the USA and thus get the drugs through customs. What kind of sick, evil people would do this to a bunch of sweet little puppies? Thankfully the authorities busted the ring and saved all but 3 of the pups who died from infection to their stomach wounds. Reminds me of Mengele experiments at Auschwitz when he would sew live animals into human stomachs to see how quickly they would be eaten alive from the inside...

Ok, this is getting too heavy. I just can't help it, stuff like that shakes me to my wiry core!

By the way, today is Groundhog Day. I tried to Google it, but I still can't fully comprehend what it is all about. How could a silly creature that looks like a rat escapee from an obesity clinic tell how close Spring is? I've never heard of gifted vermin? And what a name he has, I'm glad I can't talk, 'cos I sure as hell would not be able to pronounce Punxsutawney Phil. Only Phil I can handle is Dr. Phil or Amelia's daddy Phillip!

Mom sat me down and told me that I was to be a good boy for a few hours every evening because she was going to finally sit down and start to write her "book". I gave her a vacant stare as she explained that her dream was to write a book, be "discovered" and featured on Oprah. It was one of those awkward moments really, where I wish I could have spoken or at least laughed out loud! Mom has wanted to write her book for about 15 years, and now 4 months from her wedding, she tells me in earnest that NOW she is going to write it. Now that is what I call GREAT timing! All she'll tell me about the secret project (well secret no more since I just blogged it to my million fans) is the title: Confessions of a Human Toothpick (in the midst of a Revolution).

Oh and speaking of toothpicks, my Grandad Abe in SA will be pleased to hear that both Mom and I floss our teeth every night! Mom does hers first and then she stretches the floss over my mouth and moves it between my teeth. It tickles, but I love the fresh minty taste!

AGC

SUPERBOWL XL - BATTLE OF THE BITCHES

So I guess everyone is in a tizzy about the Superbowl this Sunday! Our house is not in a football frenzy - though we are in a perpetual Foxie Frenzy..heh heh. I like to keep things exciting! Dad is (Mom says, Thank God) not a great sports enthusiast and Mom being from a Colonialist Empire - is fond of soccer and cricket, and doesn't even understand how football works. To quote her recently, "I just don't see the bloody point of overweight men in shoulderpads, bashing into eachother, running 5 inches and then stopping? I mean what sort of a stupid bloody sport is that? Stop, start. Stop, start. What a complete bore!"

Mom doesn't mince her words you notice. When Dad does watch the odd game, she huffs and puffs that he is hogging the TV, and goes ballistic when the TV says there are 3 minutes left of the 4th quarter but it invariably takes 3 hours for the game to end!

So in my household, noone gives a hoot whether the Steelers or the SeaHawks win on Sunday. Secretly, I don't care either...but I have to pretend to be a SeaHawks fan to stay in Miss Amelia's good books. You see she and her mom Alexandra are natives of Washington State, and therefore huge SeaHawks fans. Nearer to home, my other bitchy pal Daisy, is a big Steelers fan. So you see my dilemma...I have to feign support for both teams, but because I am petrified of Miss Amelia's long nails, I am rooting more for her team! Nothing like the fear of having your eyes ripped out to keep you cheering! So let the battle of the bitches begin! Here are Daisy and Alexandra in their team helmets (looking rather sexy I might add!). Amelia refused to don a helmet lest it mess up her hair.



Now, dear reader, you may ask, "Axel, what is your dream outcome for the Super Bowl? How do you envisage it in your dreams?" Well friends, allow this picture I put together to sum it all up for me:



Now THAT dear friends, is what I call a SUPER BOWL!
Bring it on!

AGC

Creative Irritants

I have a new behavior I concocted to drive Mom nuts. Heh heh.

When she takes me for a walk now, I insist on running up and down the stairs of every house like Wee Willy Winkie...She gets pretty irritated, it is most amusing! My aim is to come up with some new irritating behavior every week at least.

Did I tell you that I had my neutering vet check up a few days ago? So the vet lady asked Mom and Dad, how is he healing. Mom said she really didn't know as she didn't know how my groin area was supposed to look. So the vet lady whips out a pad and pen and starts sketching my penis and balls and shows Mom how they commit a neutering. An artist she was not....but Dad looked embarrassed!

The weather has turned foul again...it's so unfair of G-d to give us a beautiful day like yesterday and then a horrid one like today. I't's cold and wet!

And now for a joke: What do you call a cold dog on a rabbit?
Answer: A chilli dog on a bun!

I hear Mom making dinner...I need to run downstairs and beg...
Laters!

AGC

Looking for Love in the Year of the Dog

I wanted to get to the computer earlier, but Mom has been hogging the machine all evening, and during the day I was pooped 'cos I had to bark all night! It gets tiring! Also, I was still recovering from my playdate with Luci, and then Sunday evening we went to Gran and Gramps for dinner. Let me rephrase: Mom and Dad got dinner. All I got were a few lousy Milkbones and the odd carrot. And when I didn't show much interest in either, they look at me as if to say, "Axel - why on earth don't you eat your carrots and milkbones?" Um, let me see if I can explain this succinctly. I get to eat carrots and Milkbones - and you get meatballs? Would you want to trade?

I didn't think so.

And then they have the temerity to gorge on chocolate cake, and I have to hear that tiresome bull about chocolate being toxic for dogs. If that ain't the biggest bobba meise (Yiddish for Old Wives Tale - for a complete Yiddish glossary you can click here) I ever heard!** Humans will make up anything to curtail our hedonistic pleasures. (Do I have to remind you that I had my balls removed recently?!)

Despite my diminished manhood, the bitches are still crazy for me. Miss Amelia sent me this photo of herself in an early bid to snag me as her Valentine...



Some of my wiry friends have their sights set cross-species! I mean doesn't it look like Moira over here is all starry eyed for this goat! Not that there is anything wrong with loving a goat mind you, some of my best friends are goats...(Ok, so I'm lying...but if I ever had the privilege of meeting one, I'm sure we'd be pals!)



Other wiry friends of mine, seek out love in strange places! Pippin (left) and Buddy Wiser (right) seem to think that their lovers reside underground and need to be dug out of their hiding places. Could this be another cross-species affair? This time with moles? Those horrid little blind black things? Horrors!




And then there are those Wires who only dream of finding the love of their life. Alexandra (left) is so intent on finding her love, she sleepwalks while doing it. My poor Miss Amelia (who is Alexandra's daughter) - it must be frightening seeing your Mother transmogrify into a Zombie! And then there is dear old Boozle (right), who looks snug and happy as he dreams about his dream wiry gal.





By the way, I just remembered that I forgot to wish all my friends a Happy Year of the Dog which began on Sunday! The Chinese are an odd people - on the one hand they are at the forefront of the horrible dog fur trade, and on the other, they honor us by naming the year after our species. Frankly, I don't get it.

By the way, for all you wires looking for love in other species - I read here that, "The most compatible match for a Dog is the Tiger or the Horse."
Sorry. No goats or moles!

AGC


** Note: Chocolate is the third most common cause of poisoning in dogs.
Axel is talking out of that orifice on his body that emits steaming poopy logs.
Signed,
Mother

(Yes, I hacked the blog again. Someone has to curb Axel's penchant for exaggeration and downright lies!)

I Love Luci!

I don't usually blog on shabbat, but I have to make an exception today! Boy am I pooped. It's taking every ounce of wiry energy I have left to write this post.

What a swell day I had today! I finally got to meet Luci - a 2 year old wiry bitch about an hours drive from my house. Luci lives with her Mom Kathy, Dad Ed and her big brother in a lovely house with a BIG yard that even has a pool! We had a blast together (now now Miss Amelia, try not to get too jealous...I would visit you if you didn't live on the other side of the world!) running around in the yard... the weather was sunny and warm!









Then believe it or not, Luci morphed into Lucifer and very naughtily (ignoring the shrieks of her Mom), she decided to jump into the pool which was full of dirty water and ice! I was a well behaved boy and heeded Dad's warning not to jump in after her! Once she got out, the lucky gal got a toweling massage from her Mom:





After a while, we came inside and tore through the house - Luci continually tried to snap at me and growled a lot, but I didn't take her seriously, I know she was just flirting! It was great inside cos Luci's Mom gave us lots of treats and Dingos! And we got to jump on the furniture!





It was sad saying bye-bye to Luci, I resisted getting into the car to go home...but Luci's Mom invited us back in the summer to enjoy a BBQ (did I hear Omaha steak?) and a swim in the pool! I can't wait!

AGC

My Favorite Things

Let's get the weekend off to a musical start! Here is my special rendition of one of my most loved songs. So grab your foxie friend and sing along!


Treats in my closet,



And food in my bowl,



Digging in couches, and making big holes,



Playing with Gracie, running in rings,



These are a few of my favorite things.

When my Dingo bones dry out,



When I tire of my toy box,



When I'm feeling like a manic WF-Tee...

I simply remember my favorite things,
and then I'm happy as can be!

Enjoy your weekend! I'm off to the vet tomorrow for my check up post neutering, and then finally, to meet Luci and Mom Kathy in Landsdale for a playdate!

AGC

Guilt Elicits Treats!

Mom must be wracked with guilt...she's been giving me Dingoes, MilkBones and livertreats like it's going out of fashion. I guess it's time to forgive her for hacking into my blog and move on. We Wires are very forgiving canines.

Dad went to Petsmart yesterday and came home with bags of stuff for me. Mom and Dad go nuts at pet stores, they just can't resist buying me stuff. I got an 18-pack box of Dingoes! Man I wish I had thumbs - just think I could open the closet door while they are at work, and help myself to as many chews and treats as I like. If I was just a little taller I could use my mouth...maybe I could push the stepladder over there...yes! What a brilliant plan!

I got a funny pic from my pal Colby in Winnipeg yesterday. It looks like he's discovered a new planet or something. Check out his expression! I would love to play with a ball as big as that...I wonder if it is like a balloon - I enjoy biting balloons and hearing them POP!



I guess I'm quite unusual in that way...I am not at all afraid of loud noises! Last night there was the biggest thunderstorm - thunder and lightening, and I stood bravely at the window and barked and barked, daring it to come inside. Once again I seem to have pissed off Mom and Dad. I just can't win. I'll tell you one sound I cannot tolerate, and that is having to watch that stupid American Idol audition television program. Most of the contestants are ugly and can't sing, they hurt my ears. But Mom insists on watching that drivel, and I guess it is still better than hearing Dad's inane playstation games.

AGC

A Wire's Defense

Well I never. Can you believe this? My very own Mother, my flesh and blood...oh hang on...that's not exactly true, is it? But you get my drift don't you? My own Mother has hacked into my blog, stolen my password, and made a mockery of me on my own blog? I am one livid Wire. I am never going to speak to her again. Oh shit, there we go again. I can't speak. Damn.

Anyway, I have a defense for each allegation - in fact just this morning I emailed Alan Dershowitz for his legal opinion. He told me I had a very good case!

1. Regarding the cellphone: Mom left it lying on MY couch with some wire attached to it. Doesn't she know Wire Fox Law #284: Any object residing in my domain, is MINE, and I can do what I want with it. The phone was in my territory, and I acted accordingly. Besides, I knew you and Dad were looking into a family plan with new phones anyway...

2. Regarding the barking allegations. Duh. I'm a dog. I bark. And hear this Mom. Dogs hear noises up to 45 kHz, while humans only hear sounds up to about 23 kHz. So you may think I'm barking for no reason, but trust me, there are evil things outside that I can hear and you can't! I am barking to tell them to not come in and harm US! You should be bloody grateful that I bark and shower me with liver treats!

3. Regarding jumping on the coffee table. What can I say? I don't really dig being so small...I like to be able to look into your eyes sometimes Mom and Dad and see what is going on there. When I stand on the coffee table, I am at the perfect level to see you while you are watching TV. And as for grabbing stuff off that table...well, I'm really just helping you to clean up. Empty Coke bottles and napkins shouldn't be there in the first place. Mom, you are not the greatest housekeeper, even Dad says so. And the fact that you grew up in South Africa with servants is becoming a rather pathetic excuse!

4. Regarding table surfing and "stealing" stuff like hats, gloves, bills and wallets. Listen here. I can't talk. Right? So how would you like me to tell you that I need to go out for a piss or a poop. I take your hats and gloves as my way of communicating, "put these damn things on NOW, I need to go out!" Is it my fault if you don't get it? Do you know what it's like trying to hold in a poop? It's not pleasant. So try be a bit more sensitive to my gentle hints! And as for bills and wallets - well, um...I was just reminding Dad that his Capitol One bill was almost due - if I shred it he will be forced to go online to look at his due date! And as for your wallet Mom, I guess I mistook your greens for greenies. My mistake. Mea culpa.

5. And finally, regarding burying my bones in MY couch while Dad happens to be stretched out thereon...see #1!

I rest my case. I sick of us Wires being labelled as terrierists and manic lunatics. There is method to all our "assumed" madness. It's the humans that have the problem.

AGC
Feeling extremely vindicated and smug!

A Mother's Revenge!

I interrupt this blog with a message from Axel's Mother. Axel will probably be super pissed off that I hacked into his blog account and stole his password, but quite frankly, I don't give a hoot.
Axel cannot blog today because he is being punished for being a very naughty boy! The litany of charges against him list as follows:

1. Chewed Mother's cellphone - broke off and ate antenna, and left a litany of teeth marks all over the phone. See evidence below.



2. Barked from 11PM-1AM while Mom and Dad were trying to sleep

3. Jumped onto the coffee table at least 5 times in one evening, each time making an attempt to grab object thereon including napkins, glass of Coke, Coke bottle and mobile home phone.



4. Table surfed repeatedly - each time stealing something including Dad's Capital One bill, gloves, hat, Mom's wallet etc...



5. Tried to bury bone in Dad's back while he was trying to catch up on sleep as a result of charge listed in #2.



As no amounts of yelling, spanking, threatening with crating, squirts from the water pistol, begging and pleading have gotten through to our wiry guy - we have to resort to extreme means like this -- wire fox grounding and denial of access to computer.

There is no telling what the incorrigible hound will do to us when he discovers that I have hacked into his blog - either report me to Amnesty International with allegations or cruel or unusual punishment or devour some more precious objects around the house?

God Help Us!

Mom

Oops, I did it again!

I peed...
On Mom and Dad's bed...
Uh-oh
I am a canine non grata...again.

I didn't mean to, I was just so excited because Mom and Dad let me hang out with them while they were surfing online for wedding wear for the men, and then Dad gave in to my demand for a dingo chew (my second today) after I clawed at the treat cupboard...and then I ran upstairs to show Mom (who chastised Dad...) and then dived onto the bed to enjoy my treat...and then...uh oh...I peed! Eek.

Dad is very mad. Mom always tries to look mad, but I can tell she is amused, especially when Dad says stuff like, "I'll sleep on the couch"...to which Mom responds, "oh please, it's only pee!" Anyway, they sprayed it with that yucky smelling Nature's Miracle, then used a puppy pad to absorb the moisture and then began to blow dry the mattress. Humans are so funny! I still have my dingo, albeit that I have to eat it downstairs...oh well. I can cope!

When Mom came home from work she took me to Lincoln Memorial Park. On the way we met up with Gracie and Keila (and their foster sister Mama who their Mom Diane found abandoned by the road - they need a home for her - poor gal is blind as a bat). At the park, I played with many different dogs - a doberman, a Jack Russel and a teensy Puggle puppy only 8 weeks old. I don't dig these new fangled chic breeds - and in my opinion, they aren't half as cute as we Wires are!

Read a weird story in the paper today entitled, "Man dies after dog crashes into car". It goes on to say that, "An 81-year-old Livonia man died Thursday morning, five days after a black Labrador fell from the Schoolcraft overpass at I-96 west, crashing through his car windshield..." When I first read that I thought, wow, maybe it had been raining cats and dogs and the lab fell from the heavens? Or I wondered, had the lab taken his owner's car for a spin - the title was misleading! But it seems noone knows how he fell onto the highway. What a way to go - for the dog and the man.

I am very impressed with the sentiments of the deceased man's family - what good people. They stated in the article:
"We've been in contact with the people who own the dog, and we feel comfortable that it is accurate the dog got loose and the dog just ran wild and did something very unusual. I feel for the people because I know how much they're hurting, and we hold no grudges. ... I'm an animal lover, like my dad is, so I feel for them."

On that note, I must get back to the couch before Dad gets out the shower and finds me upstairs again! Mom rented "My Life as a Dog" (also known as "Mitt liv som hund " - I like that!) from Netflix -- I wonder if its about ME!!! Why was I not told? Where are my royalties!!!?

AGC

Chicken Thief

Did I really lose my balls this week? It's hard to believe they are not between my legs anymore, because I feel as good as new. As right as rain. As wiry and firey as ever! Mom and Dad are trying to keep me calm and demure, but it's a hard job! I feel great, so I don't see why I have to take it easy!

Last night, acting on a tip from my pals Cappy & Kaiser, I got very excited to see Mom cooking a small chicken, called a cornish hen, for dinner. I thought, wow Cappy & Kaiser were right - I'm getting my post operative chicken and rice meal!

Now Mom and Dad think they are so smart, they always try to barricade me in the kitchen while they eat out in the livingroom by the TV. I know to expect this, so I make sure I remain on the couch while they are dishing up their dinners. Boy do they try everything to coax me into the kitchen - bits of food, sweet talk, promises of dingo chews....but nothing could lure me there knowing what was about to enter the livingroom. So, heh heh, they gave up and brought their hen to the living room. I then sprang into action, making my cutest, most appealing facial expressions, laying a paw on Mom's lap (she is much more of a pushover than Dad is!) and licking my lips with gusto. But heck, none of it was working! Mom gave me a few cooked carrots which were tasty, but I wanted chicken damn it.

Then fate intervened!

Near the end of the meal, the door bell rang and Dad jumped up to answer it. It was the water dept to tell us they were repairing a main on the next street over.

Quick as a flash, I made a lunge for Dad's plate and grabbed what was left of the chicken and sprinted off to the kitchen! For a 40 year old, Dad is quite spritely - he tackled me and pulled most of the tasty treat from my mouth, but not before I swallowed some of it. They tried to act angry, but I can tell when they are fibbing -- I could see their expressions and the look they gave eachother as they called me a naughty thief. It said - "Hurray, our little guy Axel is fully recovered from surgery! hip hip hurray!"

AGC

PS I had an email from Tilly - the lassie featured yesterday hunting rats in a hedge. She wants everyone to know that, "We have chickens and unfortunately in the winter when you've got chickens you get rats ! Thankfully they are well away from the house. My parents daren't put poison down as apart from the fact that it is a horrible way for them to die, and the dead rats can be eaten by other animals, we all know that wires like us will eat anything. Consequently, my folks are trying to evict them in other ways!
It also seems that Tilly is not the only wiry gal who enjoys a good dirty chase. Check out Libby in her post chase hoe down - or is that hose down?

Lots of Good Wishes...

Well here I am, ball-less and still pretty knackered. But I'm really enjoying all the attention I'm getting! I got lots of good wishes and fan mail today.

Cosmo Kramer II (pictured left) who lives near Toronto, Canada wrote to tell me, "Don't worry"! The day after my surgery I was back roaming the house like a King in his fiefdom. I can relate to the cone-o-phibia though...so hard to be my playful self! And..I didn't understand it, but daddy kept laughing at me and saying something about "better reception on the radio"...silly humans!!"
He also had something interesting to add: "I think mommy and daddy are thankful that I haven't eaten
a "condom" yet..although daddy said he was pretty disgusted when he had to pull out a rubber band that was hanging out of my backside one afternoon!"

That's a little too much info Kramer, but it does remind me to tell you all that I both puked and pooped up the condom - how interesting is that. You can't fault me for being thorough!

Then Mom recieved this email from Carol, Mom of Nipper:
"Tell Axel that Nipper says he had the same surgery long time ago, but does not remember. Unfortunately, instead of calming him down which everyone said it would do, as soon as he got over the anesthetic, and forever later, he was wilder than ever. I know you don't want to hear that, but at least be aware that he could happen. Oh, well, as the saying goes, "Life is merrier with a fox terrier."

Carol, I have been sounding that warning bell in many blog posts - I think Mom is wise to the fact that not even neutering is going to calm me down!

And still more fan mail - this time from Cappy and Kaiser!

"We hope you are feeling better. My brother and I went through the same thing, day after the surgery mom made us chicken and rice. I read you blog about getting your mom purse, I, Cappy, like to do that too; my favorite things are the nail files and pencils. My mom says I have a nose for nail files, if she leaves them out I chew on them. Mom always asks me if I am filing my teeth, what a silly thing to ask. Last night I coffee table surfed and ate mom's vitamin. Horrible flavor, definitely did not taste like chicken!"

Chicken and rice...hmmm, that would be swell. Not sure about nail files! I spyed Mom take a cornish hen out the freezer this morning...hope that's for me! I did get scrambled eggs for breakfast this morn - and a dingo chew! And so much loving!!!

Adrianne and Huckleberry also sent good wishes, as did many of my internet wiry pals. Thank you all for your support and love through this traumatic time...

I like to end with a bit of a laugh. So check out my English wiry lass pal Tilly after she had been digging in the hedge for rats. My guess is, she was dunked in a bathtub shortly after the picture was taken. I have never seen a hedge, much less a rat...as fun as digging for rodents must be, I think I'd rather not have rats running around my territory. And I think Mom would agree!

Off to lick my stitches before Mom and Dad get home and put that ridiculous lampshade on me...

AGC

Whoozy Wire

Well friends, I lost my balls, but I gained a lampshade!

The operation went fine, but the vets were very interested in my red scabs on my leg, so they sprayed it with stuff and insisted I put this dumb lampshade around my neck so I don't lick the wound. A wire in a lampshade, oh please - how long do you think we'd tolerate that thing?

To Mom's credit, when she saw me trying to lumber up the front stairs, the lampshade hitting each step, she said to Dad, "oh take that ridiculous thing off!" and off it went with the warning that if I lick my leg, it comes back.

I feel like a recent AA failure - when I walk around I fall over my own feet. I swear I heard Mom and Dad giggling! Despite my surgery, I am still jumping up and down the couch and barking out the window - you can't stop me baby! Balls or no balls, the fire wire burns on!

And you believed that bull about calming down after neutering.
Can't say I didn't warn you!

AGC

PS What a nice surprise I had this evening. The doorbell rang and there was Lydia with my best friend Bailey the Boxer come to visit to see how I was post surgery. They even brought me a lovely card and gift of...you won't believe it...TWO BALLS!

Farewell Dear Woody

It was with much sadness that I found an email in my inbox this evening entitled, "Woody's gone over the Rainbow Bridge". Eventhough I never had the privilege of meeting High Steppin' Out of Merrywind (his fancy name), he was my email buddy and Miss Amelia and Bigfoot Fletch's beloved brother, and Alexandra's baby boy.

In October last year vets found a tumor, the size of a lemon, in his chest, pushing against his trachea and esophagus, making it very hard for him to eat or swallow. It is testament to the beautiful natures of many human beings, that Woody's Dad Phillip lovingly spoon fed Woody for the last week's of his life. No doubt Woody felt his human Mom and Dad's love very deeply.

It makes me very happy to know that I was able to bring Woody a tiny little bit of happiness in the last few weeks, when Mom helped me to send him a Christmas gift of a squeaky red dinosaur.

Thank God Woody is free from his pain, and no doubt happily reunited with his family and many friends, running and playing in the sunny fields over the rainbow bridge. He will never be forgotten. Below is a picture of Woody and his dinosaur gift taken a short time ago.

Until we meet again Buddy...rest in peace.

AGC