Ow, my ears are sore! It seems Mom and Dad's crusade against my barking continues. I don't even bark that much, not as much as I once did, but the parents are not taking any chances with me when I am home alone. Amazing what one nameless neighbor can do to a poor defenseless dog like me!
So today a package arrived in the mail - an odd looking grey device called the "Dog Silencer Pro - Bark Free." Dad plugged it in and put it near the front door where I naturally congregate to greet friends and passers-by - but NEVER (for the record) for longer than the legal maximum of 15 minutes per hour. I will swear to that in a court of law! Anyway, so Mom and Dad stood around , an air of expectation on their faces. I knew they were up to no good.
I then heard Gracie bark across the road, so I barked back at her - it's only polite! Suddenly I heard a piercing sound that stopped me in my tracks and hurt my ears! Mom and Dad looked at eachother and grinned! Grinned at my evident discomfiture! I heard Mom whisper to Dad, "oh please God let this be the answer to our prayers!" Hmm, not sure I like this at all. And what really gets my goat is that all this is for Nameless Neighbor, and he has no clue the efforts to which my parents are going to to silence me forever.
Life ain't fair. Get me to the country Goddarn it! I want to bark and be free!
AGC
10 years ago
6 comments:
Poooor Axel.
That 'nameless neighbour' needs to be outed, shamed and peed on.
And then subjected to 24 hours non-stop barking of the highest dB.
And then peed on some more.
I hope your tender ears won't be damaged by this thing.
Sounds evil to me.
Maybe you will be able to sue the neighbour for workplace damage.
Chow for now,
Tin Tin xo
Oh man Ax I am sorry to hear this my friend. Now not only do you have to be quiet but you have to suffer with a God awful noise?! What the heck is that about?! Maybe your folks could put said collar around his neck and let him get that noise whenever he knocks on your door to complain about you!
Good luck buddy.
Wirey hugs,
Ozzy
Axel Buddy: Trust me, that barking thing really ticks off the humans--I got a splash of water in my face when I carry on for too long. Today, I barked at my beloved Cammie's Mom...They thought I was mad,but really I was just impressed that she has power over things with wheels. She had some barrel that she wheeled all the way down the driveway and left on the sidewalk out front. I still find that impressive. But anyway, where was I...Ah yes, Mom didn't have her squirt bottle handy, but told me my barking would put an end to playing with Cammie, the yellow dog-goddess. Yikes!
On a totally different subject, did I see you mention that YOU wore a Halloween costume? Where are the pictures buddy? I've taken enough poop over this issue, it's time we got the goods on you!
Licks and love,
Banba
Country living is the way to go, Axel! I can bark my head off anytime I feel like it and the only ones who get annoyed are the goats!(And they make their fair share of noise, too, might I add.) Hang in there, my wirey brother! Come visit me anytime for some fine squirrel chasing!
Derby
o what are your plans now, axel? do your ears hurt? will you have to communicate in sign language now?
please keep us posted of your progress. we're all here for you!
loves,
fee
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