Tuesday, September 19, 2006

I am ALL Powerful!

Boy, never underestimate the Dog Power! I have single-handedly turned my parents lives UPSIDE DOWN!

It all began with a phone call to Mom at work by my dreaded nemisis Rex.
"Dani, Axel has been barking for 20 minutes. Can you do something?"
Mom felt her heart constrict - and stammered that she would be home soon. She then called Dad who came home from work instead. Mom hates upsetting our neighbor, she is that odd sort of human who hates any kind of discord.
By coincidence, Mom had arranged for a dog trainer lady to come over to help them adjust to my barking "issue".

[For the record, in case you forgot. I am a %$#&ing DOG. Dogs bark. That's what we do. So what is the issue here? I'll never get it.]

Jane the trainer lady arrived just as I was having a barking frenzy out the window. I thought I'd show off a bit...She had the temerity to suggest that the reason I bark out the window is because I get instant gratification. I see someone, I bark, I chase them away. I win!!
Boy - how did she know that???

So she talked and talked to Mom and Dad as their eyes started to glaze over with the knowledge of all the work that lay ahead. And then she started to click at me and throw me treats! I liked that part! All that clicking would have made a Xhosa South African proud (for the ignorant - for Xhosa people clicking is part of their language).

After Jane left, the strangest thing happened. Dad started moving my furniture around. The couch was dragged away from my window, and the TV went there instead. My world turned upside down. I didn't know what to make of it. I'm still confused. How will I bark out the window if I can't GET TO THE WINDOW?? HELP!
And all night, Mom and Dad walked about clicking at me...I think they've finally lost their marbles. So here is a picture of my new universe...Gracie came over to check it out for herself... but she was more interested in stealing my bone!

Just as I was trying to acclimate to my new surroundings, Dad dropped me off at Doggy Day Care this morning to give my nemesis some peace until they adapt to my new training regimen. Boy I had a hectic day. I came home and just collapsed. Mom and Dad looked very happy...

When I came home, I heard some sad news. Remember I told you about that Pitbull pup we found abandoned in the park? Well, after Gracie's Mom fostered him for 3 weeks, no home could be found for him, so he was despatched kindly to the rainbow bridge where he will finally find his safe forever home. He didn't like me and tried to bite me a few times, but even I, Axel G Chocholoza know that it wasn't his fault. He was horribly abused and defensive, so I didn't hold it against him...may his little tortured soul rest in peace, and I think Gracie's Mom was very special indeed for caring for him all this time.

Finally - Guess what? I got a gift in the mail from my Canadian buddy Dean-O - winner of the Petster dog of the month if you recall! He sent me this ultra-cool black leather jacket - I am now part of the wiry motorcycle gang, I look so butch, the bitches are going to go wild! I may just make a video of it - Bitches Gone Wild!

I may just wear my coat to the All Terrier Show on October - I'd like to show those prissy show dogs what a REAL manly wire looks like. We don't go parading around in a ring, and get chalked and blowdryed 5 times a day. We are naturally sexy and handsome.



Dean-O! said...

Too cool!

Libby Longtail said...

You can hop on your hog and ride over to Ohio anytime, hot stuff!

Gus said...

Oh Axel, that is so totally, like, awesome. (see, I can talk just like Teka)

Truly, I am impressed by your motorcycle jacket and by the ingenuity your parents showed in moving the furniture.

Muzzer and I are working on a barking issue too. I try to keep her from barking at me by not barking at the outside dogs from the fence or the window. She sounds so silly! But it makes me stop and look at her, then she says, "Good boy Gussie, no barking" and gives me a Charley Bear.

I wonder if she gets a Charley Bear when she stops barking.


Buster the Wired Fox Terror said...

Wow they moved your furniture? My windows in the front of the house are too high up for me to see out of. I still bark when I hear stuff, but we live on a private dead end street so there is not much out there moving around or driving by. And everytime a neighborhood dog barks, we all answer!!!!

I love that m/c jacket. When Mommy and Daddy got motorcycles, they bought me a black leather hat and a m/c tee shirt. They never ride the bikes tho, Mommy is too scared so I don't wear my gear.

Too bad about that pitbull. He is happy now tho.

Bussie Kissies

jaffeboy said...

Put on your helmet & you are ready to rock n roll. Too cool Axel.

About the barking "issue", I don't quite get it either. What is wrong if we see/hear strangers walk pass & we bark to keep them away?!

Bigfoot Fletch said...

Hey, Ax, you have all the females a twittering over you now--including my new sis - not to mention my older sis, Miss Amelia..can't wait to hear what she has to say. Really studly there, Dude!

Your California Buddy,
Bigfoot Fletch

Agatha and Archie said...

Axel.TOOOOOOOOOOOO COOOOOOOOOL!!!!!You look fabulous and make a WFT proud to be associated with you.We are also driving our parents ( and neighbors) crazy with barking, but who cares???? Isn't that what we are supposed to do? Love, your Boston pals, Archie and Agatha( you look SOOOOOO handsome...)PS. our Mother wants to know how the clicker stuff work out)

Sunshade said...

COOL jacket Axel!!! You know, I thought my mum had lost her mind too when I first started my acting classes, because she would jsut click for no reason and then quickly shove a treat in my mouth LOL.. Mind you it was pretty cool getting free treats!

Love nibbles,
Miss Sunshade

Anonymous said...

Dear Lover Boy Axel

Oh dear...my heart beats for you, Stud Muffin!

Miss Amelia