Thursday, August 18, 2005

Flight of the Bumble Bee

I got my very first email today from my wiry pal Pippin who wrote to tell me about an interesting liason with a bumble bee. Below is a pic of the Pippin surrounded by her evil bee friends:

Dear Axel-
I was a very naughty dog just now. My human, Pat, was outside working on removing some weeds by the rosearbor. I was tormenting the hive of bumble bees. I do this ALL the time. My bumble bees are usually rather placid and never really get angry.
Until today.
As I was snapping at the bees, a GIANT bumble bee emerged. It came right at me.
I fled in terror. The giant bumble bee landed on my posterior end, and started to dig down towards my skin. My tender butt was in peril! I ran for my human.
Pat saw me running towards her, and she dropped her tools. Even my big sister Maggie came over.
In my twisting and snapping, I managed to get the bee dislodged from my posterior.
I ran away, back to the protection of the yews, by the front door. I was shaking.
Pat apparently thought the episode was over and she picked up her tools.
The big, giant, bumble bee flew right at her! Down went the tools. Up went the arms. My human became a windmill. Maggie started to bark and snap at the bee. Pat started to run and the bee pursued. Maggie was also in pursuit. I sat in the shade on the yews,trembling.
The bumble bee went right for Pat's face. Her arms were spinning out of control. Pat sort of ended up inside the rose bush. THORNS! THORNS! THORNS! AND NETTLES!!! OUCHIE OUCHIE OUCHIE.
My human spat at the bee!
I never saw my human do THAT before! Apparently she hit the bee and the bee went down for a moment.The behemoth bee did not give up. It came back and landed on Pat's chin.
It stung her! On the chin.
Pat swatted the bee from her chin. It seems the stinger wasn't fully out from the bee and it made full contact with the meaty part of her hand by the thumb-so Pat was stung TWICE by the same bee.
My human went inside and applied lotion and plucked out the thorns. She also told my other human (Judy) that her jaw feels like she has novacaine in it. Her hand is ok, but she does have spots of blood on her from the thorns.
I was very naughty!

Dear Pippin,
It is nice to know that I am not the only literate WFT out there. I had a good laugh at your letter - I don't think you're naughty, incorrigable would probably better describe you!
I don't think I've ever seen a bumble bee - I'm an urban hound alas, and though I go to the park every day, I don't see much animal life (I did see a dead groundhog last week - boy did it stink!)

I think you should apologize to your human for getting her stung by giving her lots of licks and kisses in the next few days and by staying out of trouble! Of course, this could backfire - she may think you are sick or something, and get psychologically strung out wondering about your sudden good behavior. Could be fun!

Axel G Chocholoza

PS Below is an photographic impression of me and a bumble bee! (Yeah, I even know Photoshop!)

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